De-bunking Count Snape

[Freud]

No: HPFGUIDX 124952


These theories that continue to circulate about Snape being a 
vampire truly astonish me.  I don't want a supernatural explanation
for his Snape-i-ness....I like to think his persona is a by-product
of his own self-centered, egotistical creation. 

Also, I don't find it logical.  

He sits at the head table and eats in public in front of the 
students. (Vampires don't eat real food...)

He teaches class during the daytime and indeed seems awake at all 
hours. (Only a vampire who has lived for centuries can endure 
sunlight.)

And yes, I know he teaches in a dungeon, but there has to be enough 
light for the students to safely heat their cauldrons.  Otherwise 
Dumbledore would do something about that. 

Snape whines and behaves most childishly in public when he is ticked 
off about something. (Vampires don't whine about revenge, they take 
it!)

His dark apparel, snide behavior, overdone huffing and puffing, and 
the slamming of drapes seems rather forced - a melodramatic effect 
engineered for the purpose of intimidation rather than natural 
behavior.  

(Vampires don't have to make up dramatic gestures to be 
intimidating.)

He squealed on Lupin.  Even Snape couldn't be such a 
hypocrite.       

He appears to obey Dumbledore.  Why would a creature as powerful as 
a vampire do that?

Finally, JKR, when directly asked if Snape is a vampire, gave a 
negative.  So do we believe the author or not?
  
Megan: Is there a link between Snape and vampires?
JK Rowling replies -> Erm... I don't think so.
http://www.quick-quote-quill.org/articles/2004/0304-wbd.htm
JK Rowling's World Book Day Chat, 
March 4, 2004 

Voldemort is kinda like a vampire though.  He drinks blood.  He 
drinks snake venom.  But I don't see any "Voldemort is a vamp" 
theories out there. 

tabekat - who think Snape is much too big of a whiner to make a good 
vampire