Child Abuse (Draco) (was Re: Christmas present pattern...)

[M.Clifford]

No: HPFGUIDX 131848

> Betsy Hp wrote:
> Draco should have known better, of course. It's foolish to pick on
> a boy's family and *not* expect a beat-down to occur. But I'm not
> sure Harry should be patted on the back for his behavior. It's
> hardly heroic to beat someone with such overwhelming odds on your
> side.

> Chris told his story about bullying...

> Amazingly enough, this kid tried it again one day. I was
> the better person, and tried to walk away. Then came a slur about my
> grandfather. It was over in two roundhouse kicks and a punch later.

> Now I suppose I will hear, "Oh no. You are a black-belt in Kung
> Fu. It was so unfair, that kid never knew what was coming. WHY would
> you do such a thing?"


Valky:
Like Chris, I can understand Harry's situation, odds are irrelevant,
Harry and George weren't summing up their odds when they flew at
Draco, they were dealing with their pain deliberatley and
calculatingly caused by Draco. I wouldn't pat Harry and George on the
back either,  but I would give them their position fairly, and
respectfully, they weren't asking for the sledging or the fight.
Later I might point out to them that Draco had no chance, and given
that they are compassionate children I expect they'd feel their own
guilt eventually.


Tonks:
> I do not believe in physical violence in any form. I can understand
> the rage that might make someone resort to that, but I still think
> that it is wrong. I was never bullied as a child, perhaps because I
> am a female and it was a different era. I have met people and
> children who were or are being bullied and I just don't know the
> answer to it.

> I do not understand the mentality of someone who would bully another
> person. I do not understand how anyone could live with themselves
> for doing that. Oh, yes, intellectually I can understand. I can
> say so and so is that way because.. But on the level of empathy and
> putting myself in the place of the other to understand them, I just
> can't get it.

Valky:
I have experienced in my own way some of that particular mentality.
When I was a kid, I was bullied and picked on constantly for several
years. One year, I was twelve, and I turned the tables, I chose myself
a victim and I picked her to pieces all year. It felt good and I liked
having this position, for a little while. I gave it up as quickly as I
had started it, realising that it had lost me my good friends and
gained me a lot of false admirers, and I couldn't really keep up the
facade anyhow. I may have paid for it a bit since then, but in any
case it gives me no pride to know that I did it.

Later in my life I have looked back at this time in my life to gain
insight into many things, and learn from the experience. One question
I asked myself might go a long way to answering your question Tonks.
Whe I asked myself why I picked that particular girl for my victim I
remember clearly the day I picked her and exactly what I had felt. It
was jealousy, I chose her because she had something to her that I
wished for myself and couldn't have. So I reflected my insecurity
right back out at her. After a while I'd do it out of habit, and it
took a while to realise that It was no longer about my insecurity
anymore, in fact my little insecurity was starting to creep its way
back into my mind despite that I was using this outlet. Lucky for me
it defied logic to continue bullying, and I stopped.

So the mentality of my bullying, it started out with some anger based
on my own insecurities, it made the insecurities go away for a time,
and then they came back and I had both - my bullying and my
insecurities. Since I had started one to get rid of the other - didn't
want either really - and now had both - it was illogical and I let it
all go. Maybe the mentality of the continuing bully is illogical?