FILK: A Thundering Monster I
Caius Marcius
coriolan at worldnet.att.net
Wed Jul 13 14:41:41 UTC 2005
No: HPFGUIDX 132614
If Richard Wagner could have singing dragons, why can't we? Here's a
first-ever solo, for the Hungarian Horntail that Harry flew against
in GoF. "Fafner" is the afore-mentioned singing Wagnerian dragon in
the opera Siegfried (he was originally a giant, but that's another
story). "Pern" refers the setting of Anne McCaffrey's novels of the
lovable, super-intellegent and gallant dragons and their riders.
A Thundering Monster I
To the tune of A Wandering Minstrel I, from Gilbert & Sullivan's The
Mikado
http://math.boisestate.edu/gas/mikado/webopera/song02.html
Dedicated to annemehr
THE SCENE: The Dragon enclosure of GoF, Chap .18. The HUNGARIAN
HORNTAIL looks forward to her appearance in the First Task of the
Triwizard Tournament. The other three dragons function as a back-up
CHORUS (If three singers seems to small a number for a chorus, just
remember that these are dragons we're taking about here, and they
sing *really* loud).
HORNTAIL:
A thundering monster I
A thing that shreds and scratches,
Whose breath can light up matches
And makes its victims fry
My hornéd tail is long,
My fires far are ranging
When in battle exchanging
A ton of sulfur strong,
A ton of sulfur strong.
Are you a Tournamental dude?
I'll fly at you,
Tomorrow!
On nests of concrete eggs I'll brood,
I'll sit and stew
Tomorrow, morrow.
Once you endure my burn
You quickly might discern
`Twas not on planet Pern
Where up I grew.
Bizarro, `zarro!
For when idiotic sport events are offered
This vitriolic dragon may decide
To run o'er the country's boundaries just like Fafner
And indulge herself in Budapest-icide!
Their challengers, whether they're slow or hasty
Ever fail - for they are merely human rubes
But although they may be dumb, they are so tasty
They egg me on to waltz, to waltz the Blue Danube!
CHORUS
Although they may be dumb, they are so tasty
They egg her on to waltz, to waltz the Blue Danube!
HORNTAIL:
And when they call for the Task you will see
My neck that swivels round
With a roar or more, I will guard my eggs
I'll escape their traps and a-break their legs
And pound `em into the ground!
CHORUS
A roar or more!
She'll pound `em into the ground!
HORNTAIL:
To fire some flame at a Firebolt
This dragon does with panache
`Cause my hungriest hank'ring ain't for goat
But human flesh
Delicious and fresh
Is a banquet I will bolt, roar more!
It's a genuine goulash.
HORNTAIL & CHORUS
Then start the tourney off we go
As we sizzle in this compound
With a roar for more
You can't tell us "whoa!"
We'll pound `em into the ground!
HORNTAIL
A thundering monster I,
A thing that shreds and scratches
Whose breath can light up matches
And make its victims fry, victims fry
..
- CMC
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