FILK: Non-Lament for the Dursleys, or My Hope for Book Seven

[Eric Oppen]

No: HPFGUIDX 133894

Non-Lament for the Dursleys

by Eric Oppen

ttto _The Roman Centurion's Song,_ by Leslie Fish

Headmistress, I got the word,
The Dursleys all are dead.
They all were slaughtered in their home,
The Dark Mark overhead.
The Weasleys came and broke the news,
They thought that I'd be sad,
But all that I can say is this,
I'm really, really glad!

I've lived with Dursleys ever since
That fatal Halloween
And they could never treat me well,
As baby, child or teen.
They welcomed me like lumps of coal
Beneath their Christmas tree.
And now you folks want me to grieve?
You must be kidding me!

My Uncle Vernon was no kin,
Although he used that name,
The things he did to keep me down
Would bring Death Eaters shame.
Too little food, too many chores,
I slept beneath the stairs,
And now you tell me that he's dead?
Go tell someone who cares!

And Aunt Petunia---what a mess!
Her envy ruled her life.
She hated my mum all her days,
And Dad 'cause Mum's his wife.
She tried to crush the "nonsense" out,
To make me "sane" and dull,
Her goal, I think, was to make me
Much thicker than a troll.

And Cousin Dudley, pig in wig,
A nasty, spoilt brat!
Three feet across, or maybe more,
He was a loathsome prat!
He bullied, stole, and broke his toys,
Tormented me "in play,"
And now he's pushing up the grass?
This is my lucky day!

Hermione thought I would mourn,
They were my family,
But after all they put me through,
I feel I'm really free.
Go send the word to Voldemort
His Death Eaters did well,
And if I see those three again,
I'll know that I'm in Hell!





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