[HPforGrownups] Re: I still dont like Fleur

[Ladi lyndi]

No: HPFGUIDX 135031

delwynmarch  wrote:
 
I see your points. But you seem to forget one thing: the way Fleur is acting with the Weasleys is simply Fleur's Way. She is not doing it to the Weasleys in particular. She's doing it to EVERYONE. 
 
Lynn:
 
Oh, I'm not forgetting this is Fleur's way at all.  That is, in essence what I was trying to point out; that this is Fleur's behavior and is not prompted by others.  Some of her traits are very obvious when she just assumes that she and Harry have this close personal relationship when it appears Harry hasn't given her any thought.  I don't think he considers Fleur a close personal friend.
 
My problem is that Ginny, Hermione and Molly are being disparaged by not just automatically accepting being treated badly and, more importantly, being blamed for what is Fleur's normally bad behavior.  I fail to understand why there are people who think it is okay to treat people the way Fleur does and that others should just accept it.  Yes, you can put with with some of her behavior even if you don't like it.  She's vain and self-centered, so what.  That doesn't hurt anyone.  When the bahavior is insulting or demeaning, I draw the line at saying people should just put up with it as that is damaging behavior.
 
Just because other people put up with Fleur doesn't mean they have to or should have to.  To expect them to isn't fair to them and it isn't fair to Fleur.  Someone said Ginny needed to be taken down a peg or eight and yet I think it's Fleur who needs the wake-up call of how she is perceived by other people.  
 
While I realize some things will never change, it is just her personality, if Fleur doesn't learn basic manners, she and Bill are going to be very lonely.  This isn't a couple I'd want to invite into my home or accept an invitation to their home if I'll have to endure an evening of listening to how inferior I/family/friends are.  Not a pleasant evening.  It isn't fair to Fleur to just let her go on her merry way alienating people and, if Bill was in a corporate environment, he could say good-bye to any promotions when Fleur ends up alienating the boss's wife.  Of course, goblins may not have the same sensibilities so it may not matter in this case but that's not to say Bill will always work for Gringotts.
 
As I said, I blame Bill for not stepping in.  It's his job to help integrate Fleur into his family and one way is to explain to her the basic manners followed in his parents home and to point out certain traditions that, while perhaps not enjoyable to all, they tolerate out of respect.  To not do that isn't fair to Fleur or his family.  If she chooses not to follow those basic manners, it doesn't say much about her love for Bill.  If she loves him so much, shouldn't she be trying to get along with his family?
 
When it comes to manners, part of it may be cultural.  Coming from two very different cultures, my husband and I needed to run interefence so that misunderstandings didn't occur.  Both sides made allowances for the differences in culture but that was because there was someone in the middle to bridge the gap - Bill's job.  
 
Both sides also had to make allowances for personality.  I can tell you that until it was explained that the behavior wasn't personal, it was personal.  (Believe me, when you have someone tell you that you are so fat you must be having twins, it feels personal.  Thank goodness I was really pregnant at the time.  LOL)  The Weasley's don't know that this is Fleur's normal behavior so it can be taken very personally.  Again, this is Bill's job.
 
Yes, I agree that Fleur and Molly will probably now have the personal relationship which will change how Fleur treats Molly.  It's just too bad that Fleur didn't care enough to try to have that personal relationship before Bill got hurt.  It's even sadder that either noone cared enough about Fleur to explain how hurtful her behavior can be or that she didn't care that is was.
 
As I said in my first post, overall I like Fleur because you can see a depth in her by her love for her sister.  I just wish she wouldn't be so toxic with those whom she doesn't have a personal relationship.  

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