Draco & Harry - Nature of Friendship

[Steve]

No: HPFGUIDX 130148

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, Magda Grantwich
<mgrantwich at y...> wrote:
> >> Magda:
> >> Dumbledore's comment to Harry about Snape-James being like
> >> Harry-Draco would also take on new meaning as I really believe
> >> that as much as he goes after Harry so much Draco very much wants 
> >> to be Harry's friend (as much as Draco understands the word).


> > SSSusan:
> > ...Magda, ...I notice you used the *present* tense here. Is that
> > what you think? That Draco still WANTS to be Harry's friend, or
> > that at one time he truly WANTED to be his friend?  If the former, 
> > I would love to hear more.


> Magda again:
> 
> Well,..., Draco's idea of friendship probably isn't the same as 
> Ron's or Harry's; ... But yes, I do think that Draco would still 
> like to "be friends with" Harry if he could figure out a way to do 
> it. In Draco's mind it would require Harry coming to him 
> apologetically and Draco grandly forgiving Harry his foolishness
> over the past five years.
> 

bboyminn:

I'm inclined to agree, in 'More-More Thoughts about Draco' post#
129700, I comment on the nature of Draco's friendship. I think Draco's
first overtures at friendship with Harry, while highly disfunctional,
were genuine attempts within the context that Draco understands
friendship. And I think Draco, still deep deep down, subconsciously
desires that friendship.

In the first part of the post I referrenced, I discuss how it is
possible to despise Draco for his actions, but knowing his backstory,
still have sympathy for him. 

And, while I think he is an arrogant, obnoxious, nastly, self-centered
twit, I do truly feel very sorry for Draco. While he plays his game
well and puts on a good front, one that has even him fooled, I have to
believe that deep down Draco is very lonely and unsatisfied. The
friendships he has are very 'strategic'. Most of the people he is
close to are more 'hangers on' that actually friends, and I have to
believe that Draco can never trust the affections of anyone who shows
him kindness, because, and rightfully so, those affections are
probably very self-serving. 

Has Draco ever really had a personal conversation with anyone in his
entire life? Has he ever sat down with a selfless intellectual equal,
and dealt with them one-on-one, heart-to-heart, mind-to-mind? I doubt
it. Such a simple thing, a friend to talk to, yet to Draco, so very
elusive. Sadly, because of this relationship disfunction, I see a very
sad, lonely, embittered life for Draco, although, Draco is
sufficiently deluded by his disfunction, that he many never
consciously realize that loneliness. 

> Magda continues:
> 
> To reach back to James/Sirius/Snape: I wondered if the Marauders'
> view that Snape followed them around to get them in trouble ... is 
> accurate because I was re-reading PS/SS and it occurs to me that 
> before Hermione becomes friends with Ron and Harry, what she does 
> could be described as following them around trying to get them in 
> trouble.  When of course she's trying to make friends with them, 
> which is why Ron's comment that no one likes her makes her hide in 
> the bathroom and cry.
> 
> Magda


bboyminn:

I find this comparison/parallel between Snape and Hermione very
interesting, and yes, I think there is a fair comparison there.
Although, I think the depth of Snape social disfuntion goes far deep,
and has been in place far longer than Hermione's. Hermione is somewhat
disfunction, but she comes for a good family, and has the good fortune
to stumble across a couple people that she 'clicks' with.

Snape on the other hand, based on the small clues we have received
regarding his backstory, does not come from a nice family, and the
depth and darkness of his social disfunction runs long and deep. We
never see Snape in a comfortable social situation. Certainly with
students brusk and to-the-point, but even with staff and other
wizards, he seems stiff, formal, and distant. 

Maybe there was a chance, when Snape was younger, for him to stumble
across a couple true and loyal friends the way Hermione managed, but I
think, those would have had to have been some very tolerant,
insightful, patient, and very understanding people. 

But sadly, a lot of life is luck. Instead of finding deep and true
friend like Hermione, Snape found the same 'strategic' friends that
Draco has, only they were far more dark, dangerous, and intelligent
than Grabbe and Goyle.

I suspect that under the best conditions, there will alway be an
element of sadness to Draco's life; whether he sees it or not.

Steve/bboyminn