Filk: The Old Wand Song

[quigonginger]

No: HPFGUIDX 130598

To the tune of "The Hairbrush Song" from VeggieTales.  It's one of 
the Silly Songs with Larry.

To CMC, fellow VeggieFan, not that I'm trying to lower your cultural 
status or anything.

The scene:
The Burrow, the summer before Ron sets off to Hogwarts.  Charlie has 
come home for a visit.  Charlie digs through his old dresser drawer, 
in search of his old unicorn haired-wand, but finds only a wooden 
dowel.  Unbeknownst to him, Ron is secretly practicing wand movements 
elsewhere in the house with the dowel's counterpart.


NARRATOR: 
Our story opens as Charlie, now visiting his family home, is 
searching for his old wand.  Having no success, Charlie cries out:

CHARLIE:
Oh, where is my old wand?
Oh, where is my old wand?
Oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where
Oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where,
Oh, where... is my old wand?

NARRATOR:
Having heard his cry, Percy enters the scene.  Shocked, and slightly 
embarrassed at the sight of Charlie with a dowel, he regains his 
composure and reports:

PERCY (gesturing downstairs):
I think I saw your old wand down there.

CHARLIE:
Down there is my old wand.
Down there is my old wand.
Down there, down there, right down the stair,
Right there, down there, down there, right there,
Down there... is my old wand.

NARRATOR:
Having heard his joyous proclaimation, his sister Ginny enters the 
scene.  Shocked, and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Charlie 
with a dowel, Ginny regains her composure and comments:

GINNY:
Why do you need your old wand?  Your new wand has more hair.

NARRATOR:
Charlie is taken aback.  The thought had never occurred to him.  More 
hair?  What does this mean?  What will become of him?  What will 
become of his old wand?  Charlie wonders:

CHARLIE:
More hair in my new wand.
More hair in my new wand.
More hair, more hair, more hair in there,
More hair in there, in there more hair,
More hair... in my new wand.

NARRATOR:
Having heard his wondering, Molly, his mother enters the scene.  
Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Charlie with a 
dowel, she regains her composure and confesses:

MOLLY:
Charlie, that old first wand of yours.  Well, you never use it.  Y-
You don't really need it.  So, well, I'm sorry, I didn't know, but I 
gave it to our Ron, 'cause he needs hair.

NARRATOR:
Feeling a deep sense of loss, Charlie stumbles back and laments:

CHARLIE:
Not fair, oh, my old wand.
Not fair, my poor old wand.
Not fair, not fair, not fair, not fair,
Not fair, more hair, more hair, not fair,
Not fair, my little old wand.

NARRATOR:
Having heard his lament, young Ron enters the scene, himself with a 
dowel.  Both Charlie and his bro are shocked and slightly embarrassed 
at the sight of ...each other.  But recognizing Charlie's generosity, 
young Ron is thankful:

RON:
Thanks for your old wand.

NARRATOR:
Yes, good has been done here.  Young Ron exits the scene.  Charlie 
smiles, but still feeling an emotional attachment to his old wand, 
Charlie calls out:

CHARLIE:
Take care of my old wand.
Take care of my old wand.
Take care, take care, take care, take care,
Don't dare not care, don't dare not care,
Take care... of my old wand.

NARRATOR:
The end.

Ginger, inspired to write about a hairbrush due to having had 24 
inches of her own hair cut off today.  If you want to see pics, e-
mail me at quigonginger at yahoo.com.