[HPforGrownups] Snape as father figure, was Sirius as Father Figure

[Sherry Gomes]

No: HPFGUIDX 130923

Amanda

Father figures =/= love, necessarily. I think the one that Harry will grow
closer to--and please note I do *not* say love, or even like--is Snape.
Snape and Harry are the ones who need to see each other for themselves, and
not for the emotional associations they represent.

Snape has been a consistent male authority figure from day one. He
represents a critical aspect of "father": the authority, the disciplinarian,
the existing Power whose standards and restrictions the child rebels
against. He's the father who won't listen; who doesn't seem to care; who
sets rules and allows no excuses; whose rules seem to be arbitrary and mean;
who is *always there.*

Snape is the aspect of father that a child appreciates after he is grown.
When the value of discipline and limits are appreciated; when the ability to
see multiple viewpoints has matured. Harry is only beginning to reach this
point. I think he will come farther along this path in HBP. And so I think
it is the relationship with Snape that will fill a certain emotional niche
for him. Maybe not pleasantly; but effectively, like Snape himself.

Sherry now:

i completely disagree with the idea that the authority role is the one the
child remembers and appreciates when he grows up.  The authority figure, if
not tempered by love as well, would be remembered as harsh, cruel and even
abusive.  I dearly love my stepmother, and she was very hard and very much
the authority when she was married to my dad.  But I don't remember those
things about her.  I remember that she comforted me when I had nightmares,
took me to all my doctors appointments, listened to me when I had
heartbreaks, defended me fiercely when people made fun of my disability.
Yes, i remember her being tough, strict and all the rest.  But the reason I
still love her and consider her to be mom even though she and my dad
divorced over 30 years ago, is because she loved me and taught me that some
love could be trusted.

If the only bond Harry has with Snape is the one of authority, yes, someday,
when he matures, he may understand Snape better, but I seriously doubt he
will see him as any kind of father figure.  There is nothing to temper
Snape's abuse.  He has no liking or warmth for Harry.  He is so wrapped up
in his immature hatred of Harry due to who Harry's father was, that he can't
be the right kind of authority figure.  If Dumbledore hadn't screwed up so
much in OOTP, he would still be the true father figure to Harry, I think.
The two of them, Harry and Snape,  will have to learn to work together, I
think, but I don't see either of them looking back on it with fondness or
understanding later.  A true father figure would have authority and love
which would be the most balanced thing for a child.

I realize you did say it wouldn't necessarily be a warm relationship.  i
just think that Snape's kind of authority is the absolute wrong kind and
isn't something Harry will appreciate when he's an adult.

Sherry