Umbridge, ...etc..., plotlines, oh my!. - Clumsy? Minor Points

[Steve]

No: HPFGUIDX 126117


--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "lupinlore" <bob.oliver at c...> wrote:
> 
> --- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "Steve" <bboyminn at y...> wrote:
> > 
> <SNIP>
> > 
> > bboyminn:
> > 
> > <SNIP>
> > 
> > ... The phrase (something to the effect of), '...enough to be 
> > getting on with...' was used just a little too often for my taste.
> > It may be a very common 'Britishism', but to my American
> > ears, once was enough, but every use after that was jarring. ...
> > Especially weak, as I have noted, because the phrase had already 
> > been used. 


> LupinLore replies:
> 
> I expect this is ...(a)...cultural things.  I ... am ... 
> American and found the "...enough to be getting on with..." to be a 
> curiously colorless expression, ....  But, Dumbledore is British,
> after all, and the expression may well convey something different to
> British readers.  

bboyminn:

Just so we are clear, it's not so much the expression itself, as I
recognise that as a common British speech pattern. It's the fact that
other characters had used the same expression. The first time it was
used, it was interestly curious, each time after that it was jarring.
Then to use it as part of Dumbledore's explanation of why Harry didn't
 get a Prefect Badge left the whole experience as you put it
'colorless' and bland. 

I get the sense it went something like this... it's late, I'm tired,
need to finish this, oh well -- '...enough to be getting on with...',
turn out the lights, go to bed, the end.

Certainly at this critical emotion packed point in the story, JKR
could have found something more effective than a tired trite old
expression. Any other way of saying the same thing would have been
infinitely more satisfying.

Along with...

...cricked his neck...
..enough to be getting on with...

someone pointed out that '...little Miss Perfect...' referencing
Hermione was a little overused. Aren't there people whose job it is to
catch these things. (more on that later)


 
> > bboyminn:
> > 
> > For what it's worth, unless Harry is dead, I don't think Ron will
> > be Headboy. But he will still have, in the end, a very outstanding
> > career at Hogwarts, history-making outstanding.
> > 

> Lupinlore:
> 
> Well, as I've said in another post, how contrived the whole
> development of Ron seems when all is said and done will depend a lot
> on what happens in the next two books.  ...
> 

bboyminn:

I will agree with one aspect of your point. If the story unfolds in a
way in which everything Ron saw in the mirror comes true, that will be
a little over the top. How completely unimaginitive.

The way I see it going, as I said in my previous post, and the way I
see you HOPING it will go, is that Ron will distinguish himself as
Harry's friend and side-kick, but also on his own. He will prove
himself as himself, and not just as an extension of Harry. That's what
many of us Ron fan are hoping and have been predicting. 


> < bboyminn:
> > 
> > I see it in the simple basic mechanics of writing. Personally, I 
> > think some of the copy editors should have called JKR on those 
> > repetitive phrases.
> > 

> Lupinlore concludes:
> 
> ...JKR is so successful now as to be editor proof. ..., with so much
>  money riding on getting her books out, I am sure ... her publishers 
> have very little patience with editors ...  I suspect Scholastic ...
> to ...GET THE THING OUT. I wonder how much of the problems with OOTP
> could have been avoided if the editors had had the freedom to treat 
> her manuscript with the same rigor they would have shown an 
> unknown author's. 
> 
> Lupinlore

bboyminn:

I'm curious if anyone remembers how much time there was between the
finished OotP manuscript and the release date of the book? I don't
recall, and while it was certainly a number of months, it seems pretty
short. With the latested book, Half-Blood Prince, they seem to be
taking a little longer. I think it's possible, in hindsight, that they
realize they may have rushed to publication. 

In addition to JKR's fame and the Siren's call of money, I think the
story is starting to get long and complex, and that is making editing
more difficult. Further, I doubt that /one/ editor proofreads cover to
cover and makes the corrections. I suspect in a rush to get it out, a
team of editors are working on sections of the book, and that makes
things like repetative phrases harder to catch. 

Finally, I think OotP contained plot points and characters that had to
be established in this book because they will be needed in later
books. When an author has specific things that the broader story
demands, sometimes the short term story suffers in an attempt to work
them in. So, I think the short-term story suffered because there were
so many key plot points that JKR had to include in this story, that it
made tying them together difficult which in turn made parts of the
book a little clumsy.

For example, many people hated the Grawp sidetrack, especially since
it occurred during Ron's moment of glory. But JKR needed Grawp in the
story for both short-term and long-term reasons. The long-term is that
he needed to be introduced so she could use him in later books. The
short-term is, she had to establish his presents and
character/personality so he could intervene in the Umbrige/Centaur
fiasco. In addition, Grawp has to bleed on Harry and Hermione, so his
blood could later draw the Thestrals to them.

I would love to love Hagrid's /little/ brother, but he is such a
blundering, oafish, imbecile that I can muster very little sympathy
for him. Great sympathy for Hagrid, but none for Grawp. Curiously, my
attitude mirrors Harry and Hermione's.

Just a few minor points.

Steve/bboyminn