DD's dilemma= Declarative Statements of Abuse

[Steve]

No: HPFGUIDX 126333


--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "lupinlore" <bob.oliver at c...> wrote:
> 
> --- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, Magda Grantwich 
> <mgrantwich at y...> wrote:
> > I really, really hope we're not going to go off on another 
> > fruitless round of squabbling over whether child abuse is a Very 
> > Bad Thing. We all agree on that. The question is whether what 
> > Harry had to put up with was child abuse or just really bad 
> > parenting.  
> > 
> > ... Harry is wary not to give them a reason to send him to his 
> > closet and he certainly doesn't like them but he was not
> > an abused child.
> >
> > Magda 


> Lupinlore:
> 
> Well, with respect, I think that is a totally indefensible 
> position.  Sorry, but being locked in a closet and denied food DOES 
> constitute child abuse.
> 
> Lupinlore

bboyminn:

I agree, I don't really know if we want to open this can of worms
again, not after, just recently, the subject of abuse was discussed in
great detail for many many days on end. 

Yet, here I am posting again.

The Dursleys were mean, nasty, and /abusive/ people with regard to
Harry, and I find it hard to believe anyone would dispute that
statement. But the problem comes when I read people making absolute
declarative statement about (capital "C") Child (capital "A") Abuse.
In addition, it doesn't matter if they believe Harry was or wasn't
abused; my uneasy, tight stomach, uncomfortable feeling is the same.
Obviously, it's not an intellectual problem, it's an emotional one, it
makes me very uneasy, and I admit, it's MY problem. 

We think that 'child abuse' is absolute; it either is, or it isn't.
But different times, different cultures, different countries,
different laws all have different ideas of what constitutes /abuse/.
What constitutes abuse legally and socially is a very variable thing.

Since I am very confident that we can get a high concensus on the
statement that the Dursleys were mean, nasty, and /abusive/ people
with regard to Harry, we should leave it at that. 

Everytime we get into statements of (capital "C") Child (capital "A")
Abuse, we get mired in /interpretations/ which, in addition, are
clouded by very strong emotions all around. In that area, and after
many long hours/days/months/years of debate, the best we have ever
come up with is to agree to disagree.

In short, we can debate whether Harry was ABUSED (note capital
letters) but is there anyone who would argue that the Dursleys were
NOT /abusive/?

Trying to add perspective to a very emotionally charged subject.

steve/bboyminn