Hagrid and Dudley---let's try this again...

[ravenclaw001]

No: HPFGUIDX 128798

I tried posting this before, but with online jamups, I'm not sure it 
got through.  

Reading what people have had to say here about Hagrid in the Hut on 
the Rock, I have to admit that I think Hagrid was out of line giving 
Dudley a pig's tail because he was flamed at Vernon.  At the same 
time, the theory that it was "unconscious magic" of the sort that 
Harry did when he was upset has a lot to recommend it, and I would 
like to know if people would have liked this better:

"I am not paying for some crackpot old fool to teach him magic 
tricks!" yelled Vernon.  Hagrid thrust his hands into his pockets, 
dropping his umbrella, and when they came out, he had a set of brass 
knuckle-dusters on one hand and a sawed-off baseball bat, looking 
smaller than it was against his gigantic frame, in the other.

Smiling a predator's smile, Hagrid purred:  "You, my friend, have 
just made a truly gigantic mistake!"  (The ensuing scene of mindless 
ultraviolence has been censored for your protection by the Internet 
Board of Good Taste.) 

Also, I kind of think that Hagrid wanted to make it clear to this 
Muggle that what Harry would be learning is Real Sorcery, not the 
sort of "magic tricks" done by Muggle magicians like Harry Houdini or 
David Copperfield.  

--Eric Oppen, who, if he'd been present in the Hut on the Rock, would 
have been absolutely on fire with curiosity and bombarded Hagrid with 
questions:  "How'd'ya do that?  Can you teach me how to do that?  
What else can you do?"