Annoyed with Harry (was Re: Lusting After Snape)

[sienna291973]

No: HPFGUIDX 129580

As a big fan of the character Harry Potter, I thought I might delurk 
to put my two-cents worth in here. Please bear with me.

I realise that every character has their flaws (and this is what 
makes them so real to so many of us), but I think many are harder on 
Harry than is absolutely fair and easier on Ronald Weasley than they 
should be.

Firstly, I'd like to point out that Harry, technically, is an
abused 
child. And as a sufferer of abuse for most of his life, his is 
actually quite stable and compassionate (moreso I think than should 
realistically be expected).

Secondly, he lives under more emotional and physical stress than any 
of his classmates and should, if nothing else, be granted some 
leniency for this.

To address these points in particular:

Magda said:
"1. He doesn't ask questions about his parents or his family.
Yes, I
know the Dursleys discouraged question-asking but you'll notice he's
managed to ignore just about every other lesson the Dursleys taught
him so why hang on to this?"

Me:
It is not so much that the Dursley's discouraged asking questions
as 
that Harry has not had the opportunity to develop trust in the adults 
in his life nor to expect them to answer him truthfully. He grew up 
in a household where it was made abundantly clear that he was 
defective, unwanted and unloved. A child just does not and cannot 
establish normal patterns of relating after an experience like that. 
To some extent it is a plot device, I agree, but it is mostly a 
result of his very very bad upbringing.

Magda said:
"2. He doesn't appreciate his friends enough. At the end of OOTP,
when he visits Ron, Ginny, Hermione in the hospital wing there is not
one moment when he thinks that he could have got these friends killed
because of his stubborn refusal to really listen to Hermione's very
reasonable objections. Yes, he's grieving but he's lived with and
known these kids for years; they should be at least as important to
him as a distant godfather who he hardly ever spent time with or
talked to."

Me:
Once again, I think this misses the bigger picture. It is possible 
that Harry will actually think about the effect the DoM battle had on 
his friends once he's had a chance to grieve properly for the
only 
real father figure he has ever known. You cannot seriously expect 
however for the child to be able to see anything very clearly with 
such an enormous loss still to be dealt with. I really do think that 
this is a case of simply not putting yourself in Harry's shoes.
Yes, 
he barely knew Sirius, but for a child like Harry who has had no 
other real parent figures in his life to speak of, the huge need for 
such a figure understandably led him to form an attachment with 
Sirius more quickly than he would otherwise have done.

Magda said:
"3. For a kid who's not selfish or mean-spirited, it's amazing how
clueless he can be about the big picture. Once he experienced
Umbridge's "lines", he should have hightailed it to McGonagall
immediately and told her about it, realizing that if she did it to
him, she'd do it to everyone else too."

Except, once again, adults have not really given Harry any reason to 
believe that they would intervene or do anything to curb his 
suffering. This is a boy who was exposed to extreme violence at the 
end of his fourth year and then relegated to silence and isolation 
for the entire summer at the bequest of his headmaster. (Out of 
everyone, only Hermione accurately predicted how much Harry would 
actually suffer as a result of this). This was a boy who was allowed 
to be subjected to the emotional violence of the Durselys for his 
entire childhood. Why would Harry think that any adult, even 
McGonnagal, would be a source of comfort?

Magda said:
"4. His lack of support for Ron in GOF and OOTP. Ron was hurting
in
GoF, thinking that Harry had cut him out of things; Harry never tried
to get past Ron's barriers but instead got behind his own protective
shield too, culminating in his yelling at Ron in the Common Room and
throwing something at him, telling him that now he'd have his own
scar too."

Me:
This is where I really differ. I find Ron one of the least 
sympathetic characters in the HP series exactly because he has had 
the benefit of a relatively well-adjusted childhood. At the point of 
his friend's greatest need, Ron Weasley's reaction was to
assume that 
Harry (someone he had known for four years) was lying to him. Harry 
was right to be insulted and hurt. I also think it is asking too much 
of a 14 year old boy who is under such stress to be the bigger man 
and make the first move to make ammends when he actually had nothing 
to do with what caused the fight in the first place! Ron's only 
problem is his self-esteem. I find him a somewhat manipulative 
character and his tendency to want to play the victim makes him 
particularly unsympathetic to me (eg. `If you want to worry about 
anyone Hermione, worry about me' – or something to that
effect. 
Hermione's answer – `why should I worry about you'
was perfect IMHO). 
I wanted to give him a kick for his behaviour during the GoF 
argument. Had the tables been reversed, I think the majority would 
have been demanding Harry apologise for ever doubting such a loyal 
friend.

Magda said:
"As for OOTP, I think Harry could have done more for Ron's misery 
during the fall term when he was so bad at Quidditch and when he was 
trying to be a Prefect. At the very least Harry could have told the 
twins to ease up on the ragging; it's clear that Ron's fear of what 
the twins will say is a big part of his worries. Ron has his best 
game after the twins leave Hogwarts - coincidence? I think not. But 
again he did it largely on his own."

Me:
I think that this paints Ron into too much of a victim. There are two 
issues here – the first being that neither the prefect position
nor 
the Keeper position realistically belonged to Ron originally. He was 
second choice in both. Having then been given these two breaks, what 
did Ron choose to do? Feel sorry for himself! And this is the second 
issue. I don't believe that what Ron really needed was his best 
friends contributing to his condition by pandering to his worse 
excesses and encouraging him to depend on them to bolster his self-
esteem. What he really needs (and what is in his best interest) is 
the impetus to start believing in himself of his own accord. I agree 
that it was not a coincidence that Ron's best game was after the 
twins left Hogwarts but what was the real difference? The difference, 
in my opinion, was all in his head.

Sienna