FILK: Bye, Umbridge

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 129616

Bye, Umbridge (OOP, Chap. 38)

To the tune of Bon Voyage from Leonard Bernstein/Richard Wilbur's 
Candide

THE SCENE: The Entrance Hall. UMBRIDGE makes her inglorious exit from 
Hogwarts, unable to escape the attention of the Hogwarts staff, 
students, or poltergeists.  

CHORUS (with DA and OOP quite prominent)
Bye, Umbridge, oh, farewell,
Ex-Inquisitor of our institute 
We're all here to send you 
Off in a way you'll know you've got the boot

UMBRIDGE:
Wizengamot aided my plot
Placing me in power where I ran each tittle and jot.
Lies you'll tell not, said I a lot,
Thus the lesson plan that I designed for Harry J. Pott
Till I got caught! Bother and rot! What a bad spot!

CHORUS
Bye, Umbridge! Bye, Umbridge! Bye, Umbridge!

Bye, Umbridge, aloha!
You leave us shoes that never shall be filled
It's been nice to know ya
And please make sure that you have packed your quill.
Bye, Umbridge, Bye, Umbridge.

UMBRIDGE:
I'd an office I obtained from Dumbledore 
And I thought I could do as I please
But I could not walk through the Headmaster's door
Or erase exposes of DEs.
And `twas then that the twins declared total war
And defied all my dire decrees
De-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de
My decrees!
 
Then I trapped all those rebels from Gryffindor
And they led me through Forbidden trees
Where I encountered herds of angry centaurs
Who dislike it when humans dare tease.
Oh fudge, I judge
Though disinclined I must resign 
Ah, poor old me!

CHORUS
Bye, Umbridge, amigo, 
Seems that your Hogwarts phase is so past tense
Let us hope that your ego
Might now be reined in with some slight horse sense

UMBRIDGE:
With a clip clop, with a clip clop
Carried off by centaurs who reject my pleas to please stop
Shaken and dropped, like a rag mop
For they didn't think that I am quite so scary as Grawp
With a clip clop, shaken and dropped, like a rag mop!

ALL
Bye, Umbridge! Bye, Umbridge! Bye, Umbridge!

Bye, Umbridge, your exit
Says that the time has come for you to leave
Think not to deflect it
For with a sock of chalk comes
Mister Peeves
Mister Peeves, 
Mister Peeves, Delores, it's Peeves!

(Exit UMBRIDGE, precipitously, followed closely by Peeves)


      -	CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS
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