My prediction for Book Six...

[ericoppen]

No: HPFGUIDX 129706

Since everybody's making with the predictions (hey, what is this, 
Divination class or something?  If Trelawney starts predicting my 
death, I'll hurl) this is mine.

Harry's stay at the Dursley residence, we are assured, will be the 
shortest ever.  This will be because Snape, as an Order of the 
Phoenix member, will be there checking up on him, and run smackdab 
into Petunia...and both of them will be hit with what Sicilians 
call "The Thunderbolt," good and hard.

The first Harry will know about it is when Dudders comes running in 
to Harry's room, screaming "Make them stop!"  He tiptoes down the 
stairs, and sees Petunia and Snape in a frenzied embrace, clothes 
flying in every direction.  

This snaps his mind, and he starts hitting his head on the wall, in 
unison with Dudley..."I did not see that, I did not see that, it's 
hurting my mind!"  

And right at the height of things, in comes lovable Vernon, and by 
the time the smoke clears, Vernon and Petunia are splitsville, and 
Petunia is running off with Snape.  Harry and Dudley are carted off 
for a relaxing course of Shock Spells at St. Mungo's.