Dumbledore's Magnaminity

[Bruce Alan Wilson]

No: HPFGUIDX 142929

a_svirn:
"What kind of example is this? Lady Catharine manners are appalling 
and Mrs. Bennett is universally regarded as a very vulgar person, 
both designing and encroaching.  Besides, you yourself say that Lady 
Catharine's manners are bad, so how does it follow, that Dumbledore 
is well-mannered? "

Lady C. and Mrs. B. both violate the SPIRIT of good manners, but neither one (at
least in this instance) violates the LETTER of the code.  This was the first
example that came to mind; I'm sure if I had my books here I could find some
better ones.  The point is that it is possible to not break--although perhaps
severely bend--the code in such a way that one can deliver a fairly stinging
rebuke to the other party in such a way that she/he/they can't respond in kind
without putting themselves even more in the wrong, which is exactly what DD
does.  

Does he break down the door? No.  Does he turn the Dursleys into frogs. No.
Does he scream, yell, swear, or call them ugly names?  No.  Does he harm them in
any way?  No.  Did he even persist in staying after he was told to go away?  No.

He makes them sit on a comfy sofa (shades of Monty Python's Spanish
Inquisition!) and offers them refreshment--that they do not choose to take it is
their choice. I think DD showed great restraint, as a matter of fact.  Petunia
had promised to raise Harry as her own son; she did not.  That DD does not turn
her into a worm shows his forbearance; he only makes her feel like one.  And
nobody ever died of embarrassment or humiliation.  Vernon and Dudley have
bullied Harry all his life; now they get bullied back, but again, they will take
no lasting harm from it.  And they *may*--unlikely, but *possible* learn
something from the process.  Petunia is ashamed of herself; shame can be good IF
it motivates one to avoid the shameful behavior in the future.  Dudley seems for
the first time in his life to be actually THINKING about himself and the
circumstances of his upbringing; now, too much thinking probably gives Dudley a
headache, but he may well learn something from the evening's experience.

One may argue that DD treats the Dursleys with disrespect, but even granting
that, respect must be earned, and none of them have done anything to earn DD's
respect.  The Dursleys are contemptible; therefore there is nothing wrong in
treating them with contempt.  That DD treats them as well as he does is a sign
of his magnanimity.
 

Bruce