FILK: Forty-Something Pete

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 139821

Forty-Something Pete

To the tune of the title tune from the musical Forty-Second Street

THE SCENE: Spinner's End. At the beginning of Year Six, NARCISSA 
MALFOY sings of the latest and oddest trajectory of the erstwhile 
Marauder

NARCISSA:
At the edge of dreary Spinner's End
The Dark Lord's top aide dwells 
And he's pledged to be the winner when
He Dumble sends to Hell
A fearsome task is what Voldy asks
So to help and brighten up his day
He gave Snape a valet

Snapey's suite is now kept neat
Via You-Know-Who's pet rat Pettigrew
.

(During the instrumental bridge, enter Pettigrew, armed with an 
awesome arsenal of cleaning implements)
 
Without broom, watch him vacuum
He's Voldemort's magic janitor 
Forty-Something Pete

In retreat from war-time heat
If it's spic and span you want, he's your man
Forty-Something Pete

Ex-Marauder sold out Potter
Now he bows and scrapes
Drinks he's mixin' for `latrix `n'
His new master Snape

Scabbers mouse, who now keeps house,
Is the underling of the Eater elite
Forty-Something Pete

(During the second  instrumental bridge, Pettigrew tap dances his way 
through a regimen of housecleaning that would cause Molly and 
Petunia's respective jaws to gape with astonishment and envy.  As the 
music slows, enter Snape, who settles in an armchair with a leather-
bound biography of Grindelwald. As the tempo picks up again, the two 
wizards almost come to blows when Snape refuses to lift his feet so 
Pettigrew can vacuum beneath them.)

His deceit remains effete
He is You-Know-Who's pet rat Pettigrew
Forty-Something Pete.
For the Prince, he'll wax and rinse
He's determined to do what vermin do
Forty-Something Pete. 

With his squeegee he gets seamy
Earhole at the door,
As he's mopping, he's eavesdropping
For Lord Voldemort. 

Is Wormtail destined to bail?.
Will he underhanded treason repeat?
Ratty, batty, tatty, fatty 
Forty-Something Pete!
 
   -	CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS
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