FILK: Why? 'Cause I'm a Spy!

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 140895

Why? 'Cause I'm a Spy! (HBP, Chap. 2)

To the tune of Why? 'Cause I'm a Guy! from the 1996 musical revue I 
Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change! 

Lyrics at:

http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/iloveyouyoureperfectnowchange/whycausei
maguy.htm

THE SCENE: Spinner's End. SNAPE responds to some constructive 
criticism from BELLATRIX

SNAPE (spoken) Before I answer you - oh yes, Bellatrix, I am going to 
answer! You can carry my words back to the others who whisper behind 
my back, and carry false tales of my treachery to the Dark Lord! 
Before I answer you, I say, let me ask a question in turn
.

(music)
With Dumble I'm chumming
At Hogwarts I'm slumming
My nose I'm not thumbing
Why? 'Cause I'm a spy!

I often aid Potter
It's not safe to slaughter
That filthy young rotter
Why? 'Cause I'm a spy!
 
I Quirrell resisted
The Order assisted
Allegiances twisted
Why? 'Cause I'm a spy!
 
The Dark Lord I'm serving
Tells me I'm deserving
My neck I'm preserving
Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

I'll take your Vow!

BELLATRIX & NARCISSA:
Vow!

SNAPE, BELLATRIX & NARCISSA
That is Unbreakable!

SNAPE
'Cause I'm a Voldy-loving
Death-Eating
Mind-reading 
Potter-hating 
Half-Blood Prince-ing
ESE!-ing
Always-make-a-malediction
Spy! 

(Spoken, yelled)
Yeahhhhh!

    - CMC 

HARRY POTTER FILKS
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm