SHIP Ron/Hermione

[horridporrid03]

No: HPFGUIDX 151566

> >>Magpie:
> I think maybe we're off track describing it as reading people     
> etc. Sometimes Hermione grasps a situation the right way,         
> sometimes Ron does.  Hermione understands Cho's dilemma; Ron more 
> effortlessly makes himself popular with the House Elves.  But     
> understanding is not the same as empathy, and to me it seems like 
> Ron is more naturally empathetic.
> <snip>
> So I think maybe we're unfair to talk about one or the other being 
> the feeling one...neither of them is super skilled at              
> understanding people all the time.
> <snip>

Betsy Hp:
Hmm, I agree with this.  Especially as we're watching Ron and 
Hermione grow up, so naturally they both stumble along the way.  And 
I'll admit I was using a bit of short-hand to describe the 
differences between the two of them.  Obviously, Ron can be blind 
about some things, and Hermione certainly has feelings.

But I do think Ron is the more people friendly.  Which has something 
to do with his social skills (which you touched on in the part I 
snipped).  I think it's also speaks to his ability to understand 
what other people are feeling on an intuitive level.  (And I'm not 
trying to claim any sort of madly special or gifted skill, here.  
Just relating it to Hermione.)

Hermione can work things out.  I seriously doubt she figured out 
everything she did about Cho just by observing her.  (Especially the 
stuff about Quidditch.)  I'd imagine Hermione paid a bit more 
attention whenever Cho's name came up in her dorm room and in the 
girl's room.  But it takes effort on her part.  That's why she was 
able to come up with the Umbridge plan and then nearly destroy it by 
misreading the Centaurs so badly.

> >>SSSusan:
> <snip>
> Also, I'd love an example or two of ways in which you've seen Ron
> being good at reading people emotionally.
> <snip>

Betsy Hp:
The easy answer is Harry.  Ron is, generally, much more aware of how 
Harry is feeling and (possibly more importantly) knows what Harry 
needs from moment to moment.  For example: Knowing that Harry would 
prefer to go flying than sit around talking about his feelings.

Another example, I think, is when Lavender's pet rabbit dies.  
Hermione sees it as an opportunity to prove her point of view, Ron 
understands that Lavender is not in the mood to hear it.

Then there's the article Rita wrote about Hermione.  Hermione sees 
it as so much empty gossip.  Ron understands that it could cause 
Hermione some real trouble.  He understands the emotional reaction 
it will cause.

And then there's Hermione herself.  Ron has a much stronger handle 
on who Hermione is and what makes her tick than I think even 
Hermione realizes.  The arrival of their OWL marks is a positive 
example of that, Ron knows how to talk Hermione down from her panic 
attack.  And his mocking her in the classroom is a negative example, 
Ron knows exactly where to hit to hurt Hermione the most.  Hermione, 
on the other hand, puts a lot of effort into hurting Ron, with 
little to no outcome (her own mocking of Ron, and her disaster date 
at Slughorn's party).

(When Hermione *does* hurt Ron in HBP, she does so unconsciously.  
Which is why she's so surprised by his anger and his turning to 
Lavender.)

I think the reason I'm sort of harping on this is that, according to 
Hermione, Ron is this big lug who wouldn't know how to get to his 
classes if someone didn't lead him by the hand. (Or how to get on a 
Quidditch team without a friend cheating him on.)  And really, he's 
not stupid, and in fact, sometimes he's even worth listening too.  
(The House-elves are the best example of that.  But I think the care 
and feeding of Harry is another.)

And actually, I think I've figured out why this particular bickering 
couple just doesn't work for me: They have so very little in 
common.  Which actually goes against, I think, the bickering couple 
template.

I mean, look at Benedick and Beatrice in "Much Ado About Nothing".  
They're both very witty, and incredibly independent.  They banter 
with each other *because* there's a connection.  Even if they don't 
see it at first.

And then there's (ahem) *Liz* and Mr. Darcy in "Pride and 
Prejudice", who both have a strong sense of their own dignity and 
worth.  Which again, causes their conflict but also guarantees their 
compatability once they both realize that they each value the other.

Princess Leia and Han Solo also spark more because of their 
similarities (independence and drive) rather than their differences.

But with Ron and Hermione, they fight because they really *are* 
different.  They have completely different ways of approaching 
problems, and completely different goals.  Their differences aren't 
a falsehood that needs to be destroyed so they can finally get 
together.  The differences are real and won't go away.

Which also explains, I think, why readers are so split over who's 
the weak link.  I doubt any of the above listed "bickering couples" 
had such polarized fans fighting over whether Mr. Darcy was 
potentially abusive or if Beatrice really cared.

Betsy Hp (still thinks Hermione and Ron will walk off into the 
sunset by series end, but suspects there won't be much heartfelt 
sighing from the audience)