Bullies

[quigonginger]

No: HPFGUIDX 162649

> Katie wrote:
> << My three-year-old came home from nursery school last week with a
> bite mark on his arm from another child. Did I tell him to bite 
back,
> or punch the child? Of course not. We went and spoke with his 
teacher,
> arranged a meeting with mom and the little boy, and worked it out 
like
> civilized people. That's real life - Potter books are about wizards!
> Fiction! I think different rules apply. >>

To which Rita (Catlady) responded:
> This is *so strange* to me. A parent complains to a teacher about 
her
> child being bitten and the teacher doesn't scold the parent for 
being
> 'overprotective'. I was a child a very long time ago (I'm 49 now), 
and
> in those days, if a child reported to an adult (teacher, parent) 
about
> being bullied, some adults would punish the child for 'tattling' and
> others would mock the child for being a 'crybaby', but all would
> express similar opinions to those expressed by Steve bboyminn and
> QuigonGinger: that being bullied is your own fault for being weak 
and
> it is your duty to hit him back.

Ginger now says:

Whoa!  Let's back up a second here.  I didn't say that being bullied 
is your own fault.  I don't recall Steve saying that either, although 
I do remember someone (probably Steve) saying that bullies tend to 
pick on those who they perceive as weak.

Being less than a decade your junior, I was also raised that it was 
up to you to handle things on your own.  That you had to be strong, 
if you will.  This doesn't mean that you were weak to begin with, 
only that you had to find or use the strength within yourself to 
handle things. 
 
Actually the first time I hit someone, I went home and confessed to 
my dad that I had slapped a boy who was in the process of beating the 
crap out of me for the second time that week.  I hadn't hit back 
before because I had been taught not to hit people back (specificly 
my younger sisters).  After I hit him, he decided I wasn't worth the 
quarter he was paid to beat me up by a girl who didn't like me.

Is it your duty to hit back?  No. If you reference my post, I said 
that I was told not to if there was an adult around to intervene.  Is 
it an option if there is no one else to defend you?  Absolutely.

Like I said before, some may not opt to fight back.  Some may take it 
and take it some more.  I did that myself on a few occasions where I 
was grossly outnumbered.  I also used humour to counter them if a 
verbal attack happened in front of a crowd.  If they gave it, I gave 
it back, and I ended up making a few friends out of the bullies that 
way.  They liked my wit, such as it was.

I am only saying that a person has every right to defend themselves, 
and that if one is faced with the sort of bully who can only be 
stopped by brute force, then brute force is a valid option for those 
who wish to stop the bully.  

I agree with a lot of what Shaun said about the best situation being 
one where the adults won't tolerate it.  The next best is where the 
other kids won't tolerate it.  I would add that those not being the 
case in a particular situation, it is up to the individual to decide 
how much and what type of crap they are willing to put up with and to 
what extent they are willing to go to stop it.

I realize I am straying from canon on this post, but I did want to 
make myself clear as my words seem to have been misconstrued.

Ginger, who is really not a violent person, but has learned to be if 
needed.