Broken potionvial WAS: Re: Bad Writing? (was: JKR and the boys)

[Neri]

No: HPFGUIDX 163202

 
> Potioncat:
> <snip>
> This is one of those "moments" that is debated so intently that it's 
> hard to remember which part is canon and which is HPfGU-
> contamination. To clear my mind, I went to chapter 29 of OoP. 
> 

Neri:
I think your canon misses the context and the situation. If you start
a paragraph earlier you find this:

***********************************************************
Snape, meanwhile, seemed to have decided to act as though Harry were
invisible. Harry was, of course, well-used to this tactic, as it was
one of Uncle Vernon's favourites, and on the whole was grateful he had
to suffer nothing worse. In fact, compared to what he usually had to
endure from Snape in the way of taunts and snide remarks, he found the
new approach something of an improvement, and was pleased to find that
when left well alone, he was able to concoct an Invigoration Draught
quite easily.
***********************************************************

The whole context of this story is Snape's initial surprising lack of
vindictiveness after the Worst Memory incident, especially in a
Potions class. Draco isn't of interest here at all, except as a device
to increase Harry's humiliation (this happens shortly after the Draco
jeering at Harry about taking "remedial potions"). Now to the situation:

***********************************************************
At the end of the lesson he scooped some of the potion into a flask,
corked it and took it up to Snape's desk for marking, feeling that he
might at last have scraped an 'E'.
***********************************************************

The flask is on Snape's desk. That's teacher territory. I doubt even
Draco would dare do anything in Snape's territory unless he's sure
Snape expects him to.


> Potioncat:
> "He had just turned away when he heard a smashing noise; Malfoy gave 
> a gleeful yell of laughter. Harry whipped around again. His potion 
> sample lay in pieces on the floor, and Snape was surveying him with a 
> look of gloating pleasure.
> 
> 'Whoops,' he said softly. 'Another zero, then Potter...'
> 

Neri:
Draco appears surprised. He laughs, but he didn't see it coming and so
didn't have time to come up with the usual smart-ass remark. Snape
OTOH isn't surprised at all, his remark sounds well planned and he had
time to see the implication on Harry's mark. Moreover, the words
"another zero" are calculated to immediately remind the reader of the
*previous* zero:  

***********************************************************
OotP 12:
    'No,' said Harry, more loudly. 'I forgot the hellebore.'
    'I know you did, Potter, which means that this mess is utterly
worthless. Evanesce.'
    The contents of Harry's potion vanished; he was left standing
foolishly beside an empty cauldron.
    'Those of you who have managed to read the instructions, fill one
flagon with a sample of your potion, label it clearly with your name
and bring it up to my desk for testing,' said Snape. 'Homework: twelve
inches of parchment on the properties of moonstone and its uses in
potion-making, to be handed in on Thursday.'
    While everyone around him filled their flagons, Harry cleared away
his things, seething. His potion had been no worse than Ron's, which
was now giving off a foul odour of bad eggs; or Neville's, which had
achieved the consistency of just-mixed cement and which Neville was
now having to gouge out of his cauldron; yet it was he, Harry, who
would be receiving zero marks for the day's work. He stuffed his wand
back into his bag and slumped down on to his seat, watching everyone
else march up to Snape's desk with filled and corked flagons.
***********************************************************

The story of the second zero is so obviously a variation on the theme
of the first that no further expansion of Snape's part in it is even
needed. It would just be repeating and boring. Or so would JKR assume.
I doubt she'd ever imagined the creativeness of Snape fans <g>.


> Potioncat:
> The real debate ought to be, why do we read this passage so 
> differently? The actual truth is, JKR gives no hint at all that 
> anyone broke the flask.

Neri:
Accidents in stories aren't accidental. They are intended plot points
(making something happening, like Mclaggen accidentally knocking Harry
was needed for Gryffindor to lose the match) or characterization (like
Neville's accidents characterize him as clumsy and insecure). At most
they can be red herrings, made to look like they were intended by the
character but aren't really. However, unless Draco or Snape confide in
Book 7 that it was accidental, which I very much doubt, the dropped
flask wouldn't make any red herring or any other plot point that I can
see. In any case Snape is quick to take unfair advantage of it for his
private revenge, so accidental dropping would hardly even make him
look better. It would merely make the story weaker.


> Potioncat:
> Potion"TheWall"Cat (WWF--Wizarding World Fanatic???)who was also 
> surprised that it's 'whoops', not 'oops' <snip>

Neri:
To my (admittedly limited) knowledge of informal English, "oops"
indicates authentic startle, while "whoops" is ironic or otherwise
insincere.

Examples of "oops": 

GoF 7:
Mr. Weasley was having no success at all in lighting the fire, but it
wasn't for lack of trying. Splintered matches littered the ground
around him, but he looked as though he was having the time of his life.
"Oops!" he said as he managed to light a match and promptly dropped it
in surprise.

GoF 12:
"I expect my gran'd want me to try, though. She's always going on
about how I should be upholding the family honor. I'll just have to -
oops
"
Neville's foot had sunk right through a step halfway up the staircase.


Examples of "whoops":

CoS 11:
"Now, Harry," said Lockhart. "When Draco points his wand at you, you
do this."
He raised his own wand, attempted a complicated sort of wiggling
action, and dropped it. Snape smirked as Lockhart quickly picked it
up, saying, "Whoops — my wand is a little overexcited —"

HBP 16:
"But meanwhile," said George, sitting down at the kitchen table and
putting his feet up on it, "we can enjoy watching you demonstrate the
correct use of a — whoops-a-daisy!" 
"You made me do that!" said Ron angrily, sucking his cut thumb.


Neri, 
who had never imagined there could even be a debate about Snape
dropping the flask on purpose.