Let's talk about Lupin

[kiricat4001]

No: HPFGUIDX 146138

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, elfundeb <elfundeb at g...> wrote:
>> Did you think Lupin was "off" from a characterization 
perspective, or "off"
> from his character in previous books?  I see Lupin as very 
fatalistic about
> his situation; he expects to get the dregs, and he goes to great 
lengths to
> convince himself that he should simply accept the way things are.  
I felt
> that the Lupin we saw in HBP probably reflected the survival 
tactics he used
> to deal with all those years of isolation and loneliness.  In 
contrast, next
> to the MWPP days, POA and OOP were the best times of his adult 
life -- first
> as a member of the Hogwarts teaching staff, and in OOP he could 
hang out at
> Grimmauld Place with Sirius and the other Order members.

Marianne: 

But, Lupin is still in contact with other Order members.  He knows 
his werewolf assignment is not a sentence for the rest of his life, 
even though he sounds bitter about it to Harry.  His coping 
mechanisms as you've described them would make more sense to me if 
Lupin knew that, indeed, this was to be his life from now on- stuck 
with the werewolves forever. I'd be more likely to attribute 
his "offness" in HBP to grief over Sirius, feeling bad because he 
can't make Tonks back off without hurting her feelings, and dread 
because he's again involved in the kind of guerilla war he fought in 
once before, and he's once again losing people he cares about. But, 
as we don't hear him say any of this, it's pure speculation on my 
part.

I see your point with regards to Lupin's fatalism and that he may be 
reverting to ingrained coping mechanisms.  However, this, too then 
strikes a wrong note.  If we assume that Lupin spent his days in 
isolation and loneliness after the Potters' deaths, on the edges of 
society, living hand to mouth, shut off from "normal" people, how do 
we account for the active, sympahtetic, affable, confident DADA 
Professor?  Where do those social skills come from? Maybe Lupin is 
simply a really good actor who has an innate gift for teaching that 
he can turn on like a light switch after years of isolation.  Or 
maybe, even though he could not keep jobs long-term once people 
found out about him, he was not quite so isolated and ostracized.  

You and I are both speculating about Lupin's life, and certainly you 
could be right on the money. We're probably on the same scale, just 
at different points along it.

Debbie:
> After the death of Sirius, he reverted to his usal coping 
mechanisms, which
> involved a good dose of mental self-flagellation.  Taking on the 
job of
> interfacing with the other werewolves is all of a piece with that 
kind of
> behavior.  

Marianne:

I'm not sure what you mean by this. Are you saying he took on the 
werewolf spying job because it fit in with his innate feelings 
of "this is all I'm good for/I deserve no better"? It seems to me 
that DD asked him, as an Order member, to do this because he'd be 
the most believable person.  And, Remus, being a good soldier, 
accepts his assignment.

<snip> 
> Marianne:
> > But, to get to the Tonks thing, I agree, I felt it came out of
> > left field. It felt tacked on to me, as if JKR suddenly decided
> > not only to pair these two off, but to use this as another facet
> > of the theme of obsessive love, but an obsessive love that turns
> > out okay.
<snip>

Debbie:
> I read Tonks' dejection/obsession as relating to the *reason* for 
Lupin's
> rejection rather than the fact of rejection.  The reasons Lupin 
gives for
> his prior rejection have nothing to do with his feelings; his 
feelings are
> addressed through subtext, which I thought was clear.  Too old, 
too poor,
> too dangerous.  She is despondent because she has offered him a 
gift and he
> has rejected it because he has convinced himself that he doesn't 
deserve
> it.

Marianne:
I guess the subtext was too subterranean for me to see ;-).  Your 
earlier point about Lupin not being one to open up about his 
feelings is well-taken.  However, that's a double-edged sword. >From 
my perspective, he doesn't want to say outright that he's not 
interested because he doesn't want to hurt Tonks by that kind of 
rejection. He particularly doesn't want to say something like that 
during the Hospital scene because then he'd be openly rejecting her 
in front of an audience. Instead, he gives her a laundry list of 
reasons why he's unsuitable, which gives her the option of walking 
away, and placing the onus for this relationship not working on him.

I guess I'm not convinced that Lupin is suffering under the burden 
of deciding that he's not deserving of being loved. However, should 
the two be shown as a couple in Book 7, I'll be forced to believe it.

Marianne