Why Tom left Merope

[horridporrid03]

No: HPFGUIDX 147007

> >>Betsy Hp:
> > Yes, but it was the kidnapping and raping that turned Tom off
> > Merope.
> > <snip>

> >>Carol:
> Maybe I'm just old-fashioned, but I have difficulty conceiving of 
> the seduction of a man by a woman as rape. The sex wasn't forced. 
> He had to have wanted it or it could not have happened.
> <snip>

Betsy Hp:
I've been involved in discussions about whether a woman can rape a 
man, if his necessary responses negates any sort of force that may 
have been involved.  But this isn't that sort of discussion.  
Dumbledore stated that Merope either used Imperius or a love 
potion.  Which means, that Tom has as much choice in this matter as 
the young boy who tried to kill his grandparents in HBP, or 
Rosemerta had in assisting Draco.

It's *very* important, IMO, that Dumbledore equated a love potion 
with the Imperius curse.  They both take away any sort of ability to 
choose.  So Tom could have had all sorts of sex with Merope without 
wanting it at all.  The truly horrifying thing is that while under 
the influence Tom would have been *begging* for it, despite his true 
wishes.  (No wonder Merope got the wrong idea about Tom's real 
feelings.)

I'm just as horrified by what Romilda Vane tried to do to Harry as I 
was by hearing what Merope put Tom Riddle through.  When Harry was 
under the influence of the love potion Romilda could have made him 
do whatever she wanted him to.  That she was only thirteen suggests 
that sex probably wouldn't have happened (though I've known some 
very precocious thirteen year olds) but she may well have molested 
Harry.  How different would that have been from say, Krum, going a 
bit further than Hermoine was comfortable with?  *Especially* since 
Harry would be completely unable to express any sort of protest, 
even the faint kind.  Romilda wouldn't have had any idea if Harry 
was uncomfortable with anything she suggested.

[Bit of an aside, but I wonder if Harry can fight off a love potion 
as he can an Imperius?  It wouldn't surprise me if he could.  Of 
course, Muggle Tom wouldn't have had a chance.]

> >>Carol:
> <snip>
> There's something to pity in both cases, but my sympathies are with
> Merope, who loved a man she could never have and tried in the only 
> way she knew to get him to love her. If she'd been an intelligent 
> and educated witch like Hermione, her conduct would have been     
> inexcusable.

Betsy Hp:
I think you're missing the power structure here.  Merope had *all* 
the power.  Sure, she's ugly and poor and Tom is handsome and rich.  
But Merope had the power to enslave Tom; a power Tom did not share 
and could not defend against.

Merope was powerless *within her family*, but she was a witch 
attacking a Muggle.  And  we've seen what happens whenever a wizard 
or witch attacks a Muggle.  Merope wanted Tom and she got him.  
Tom's desires were, as per usual in these power struggles, 
irrelevent.

> >>Carol:
> But IMO she was a victim of abuse and neglect who was never taught
> right from wrong (can you imagine lessons on morality from Marvolo
> Gaunt?) and never had a chance of meeting and falling in love with 
> a suitable husband.

Betsy Hp:
Right, so I do feel a bit of sympathy for her.  But that doesn't 
change the fact that she took away Tom's freedom of choice and took 
him as her own.  She abused Tom in the way she had been abused 
(possibly literally).  So the bulk of my sympathy is with Tom, who 
became a victim because he wasn't leery enough of the freaks in the 
forest.  Dudley could have told him, never, ever, trust a wizard (or 
a witch), *especially* ones baring food or drink.

> >>Carol:
> I agree that Tom Sr. never loved Merope; he never *could* have    
> loved her because, poor thing, she was so unloveable. But he could 
> at least have hidden her away somewhere and provided for their     
> unborn child once he recovered from the shock of having married   
> and impregnated her. But he was rich, handsome, and arrogant (GoF 
> chap. 1).

Betsy Hp:
Not arrogant enough, unfortunately.  He had some sympathy towards 
Merope (so she must have been somewhat loveable) and she used it to 
take him as her pet.  And, having never had any toys before, she 
broke him.  Then, in an act of utter selfishness, she couldn't even 
be bothered to try and stick around for her son.  Huh.  Maybe I'm 
not all that sympathetic after all. <g>

> >>Carol, wondering what would have happened if Tom Sr. had sought 
> out his newborn son and raised him as a wealthy Muggle rather than 
> letting him grow up unacknowledged in an orphanage

Betsy Hp:
I wonder, would Tom have been mentally fit to raise a child?  He 
never left his home again once he'd escaped from Merope.  He didn't 
go Europe or anything.  Just huddled at home until the son he may 
not have even realized he had came and killed him.  Perhaps his fear 
of Merope would have translated to his son and Tom, Jr. may have 
ended up ruling the roost.  Especially with his early grasp of magic.

Betsy Hp