Tom Riddle Sr. (Was: Why Tom left Merope)

[Jen Reese]

No: HPFGUIDX 147062

> Magpie:
> 
> I still think this is unfair to Tom Sr.  It seems like a classic 
> case of putting the victim on trial.  It's nobody's business who
> Tom wants to marry, and who says the only good thing about Celia 
> was that she was the correct class?  He's a Muggle with a right to
> lead his own life and marry whomever he wants.  A random witch
> doses him with a love potion and forces him, through mind control,
> to throw over the person he was with by choice and have sex with 
> her and marry her.  I don't see how the date rape analogy isn't
> accurate.

Jen: While I completely agree Tom deserves the freedom to choose a 
partner without chemical intervention, I don't think Dumbledore 
paints the same picture of Merope as outlined above. He believes 
taking away someone's free will is reprehensible but also wants 
Harry to understand that he views Merope is a pitiable person and 
not a criminal. He speaks of her possibly using a love potion 
because she might view it as the 'romantic' option, and that she 
plotted her escape from Marvolo and Morfin out of 'desperation'.

The message I got is there were two victims here, one a witch who 
never learned how to use her magical power and was not raised in a 
household where ethical considerations in the use of magic were 
discussed. She had no opportunity to train at Hogwarts as far as we 
know, and had no input from outside sources to provide feedback on 
what using a love potion actually means. From my reading, the 
pensieve scene and Dumbledore portrayed her as almost child-like, 
with a child-like wish for romantic love rather than someone who is 
completely coherent that she is abusing her power. Dumbledore also 
seems to be giving her some credit for recognizing she 
was 'enslaving' Tom and making the decision to stop the love potion, 
as well as not magically luring him back when he chose to leave. I 
think the fact Merope let him leave points to how little power she 
actually felt she had. 

> Magpie:
> There's no reason Tom had to see it that way--he was in despair
> and helpless.  Why would he see the person who kept him a slave
> for a year as such?  Why assume he was thinking clearly himself?
> He never had much of a life again either.  Why assume Merope was
> the traumatized one?  

Jen: We have no canon how Tom felt other than to say he 
was 'hoodwinked'. He may have been traumatized and that led him to 
live with his parents and never venture out again. He must have lost 
Cecilia after appearing to run away with another woman. We do know 
Merope was unable or unwilling to use her powers after he left, and 
we know Tonks was an example of a witch losing some of her power 
over unrequited love. I do think the implication is Merope was 
traumatized by his leaving and possibly also by her own actions. I 
guess I'm wondering why both can't be traumatized? 

Magpie:
> Tom Sr. seems to be being held up to a pretty high standard here,
> while Merope's actual crime is trivialized because she was lonely
> and Tom Sr. was rich and arrogant.  

Jen: Perhaps it was the way the story was presented? I'm not exactly 
certain of the author intent here but I didn't think 'criminal' when 
I read Merope's story. Personally I found the comparison between 
Merope and Lily quite sad when Dumbledore said: "Yes, Merope chose 
death in spite of a son who needed her, but do not judge her too 
harshly, Harry. She was greatly weakened by long suffering and she 
never had your mother's courage." (chap. 13, p. 262, Scholastic).

Jen