HP & Family

[kibakianakaya]

No: HPFGUIDX 153781

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "kristaf0726" <kfreimu at ...>
wrote:
>
> Hi,
> I just finished reading OOTP and am starting HBP.  One thing that
has
> been bothering me is why isn't Lupin more involved with Harry.  If
he
> was one of the 3 marauders, shouldn't he have also been like an
uncle
> to Harry? All it seems is that JKR is just concentrating on that
> Sirius died and Harry has no family.  I would have expected Lupin
to
> step in or even Mr & Mrs Weasley to tell him that he is part of
their
> family now.  Is it because of the lone hero theme???
> Just thoughts I had...

Lilygale here:

Certainly Lupin's emotional and physical absence works as a plot
device.  Dumbledore's role as Harry's mentor is more easily
accomplished without a substitute 'godfather' in the picture.

But Lupin's absence from Harry's life originates from and
underscores Lupin's character.  Lupin strikes me as a good man who
has trouble connecting emotionally with others.  I imagine that
becoming a werewolf at a young age might affect his ability to
trust, rely on others and sustain close relationships.  A young
child (3 years old? 5, 7?)who has to undergo horrible
transoformations monthly might learn that he can't rely on his
parents or anyone else to keep him safe and from pain.

When he gets to Hogwarts, Remus suddenly finds he has friends.  But
he is not an equal partner in the James/Sirius Show, he's somewhat
on the outside of that tight dyad.  And I bet he's just fine with
that.  Friends, but not *too* close friends.

And the "close but not too close" pattern continued during Harry's
third year.  I'm going from memory, but I think there was only the
one time (where Snape brought in the Wolfsbane potion) where Remus
went out of his way to talk to Harry.  Sure, Harry didn't seek out
information about his parents, but Remus didn't go out of his way to
offer any either.  IIRC, it was Harry who asked Remus to teach him
to defend himself from the Dementors.

The Tonks/Remus thing seems to be an example of Remus shunning
intimacy.  All those excuses - if he really wanted to be with her,
he would find a way.  Notice I didn't say "If he really loved her."
He might.  But acting on that love - that comes hard to our werewolf.

I love Remus and in many ways identify with him.  But I haven't
spent a lot of time in close reading of his character, so I'd love
to hear what others think.

Lilygale