FILK: New Home for Lestrange

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 148970

New Home for Lestrange

To the tune of Home on the Range

Dedicated to Ginger

"While [Sirius'] will makes it perfectly plain that he wants you to 
have [Grimmauld Place], it is nevertheless possible that some spell 
or enchantment has been set upon the place to ensure that it cannot 
be owned by anyone other than a pureblood
..And if such an 
enchantment exists, then the ownership of the house is most likely to 
pass to the eldest of Sirius's living relatives, which would mean his 
cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange."

THE SCENE: Before 12 Grimmauld Place. The Order of the Phoenix, aware 
that Bellatrix Lestrange might show up on their doorstep at any 
moment, prepares to vacate the premises. 

THE ORDER:
We once had a home like an Edgar Poe poem
That we sublet from Sirius Black
He's no longer there, Bella may be the heir
And she can't hardly wait to unpack 

New home for Lestrange
Means the Order must move out of range
She'll arrive with the keys and she'll cancel our lease
And make this the HQ for AKs

Kreacher will celebrate over Bella's estate
For the purebloods are sure good, he said.
He'll joyfully slave till he reaches his grave
And he'll be interred without his head.

New home for Lestrange
Our mansion she will re-arrange
An extreme make-over and hostile take-over
Mother Black shall break out the champagne.

(An owl from Dumbledore arrives relating his discovery that Harry is 
indeed the new owner of 12 Grimmauld Place)

Dumble's message arrived straight from 4 Privet Drive
And we've conquered the powers of hate
Black has made his godson the Grimmauld Chosen One
Now we won't have to go to probate.

No home for Lestrange
We're revoking Bella's address change
Let's forevermore pledge
That we'll keep our mortgage
Far away from heavy-lidded dames. 

   -	CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS
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