Why Didn't Harry Ask About His Parents' Graves? (was: Re: Godric's Hollow)

[veroniki travlou]

No: HPFGUIDX 149951

--- justcarol67 <justcarol67 at yahoo.com> wrote:
> Carol responds:
> First, as you rightly point out, JKR has to consider her own
> convenience in giving out information to Harry and, through him, 
> to the reader, and that's probably the primary reason why Harry 
> hasn't already gone looking for his parents' graves--JKR has 
> saved that (hopefully poignant) moment, which many of us hope 
> will be tied in with revelations about what actually happened at 
> Godric's Hollow, for Book 7.
> 
> From Harry's perspective, though, it also makes sense (IMO) for 
> him to wait until he's ready, emotionally and intellectually, to 
> visit their graves, not just because seeing their names carved on 
> the tombstones would somehow make their deaths more real, but
> because the site of their graves, Godric's Hollow, is the site of 
> their deaths as well. (I think he knows or guesses that they're 
> buried there.) It's the place that changed him from an ordinary 
> wizard child to The Boy Who Lived (who has now been elevated to 
> The Chosen One). He's had a taste of the terrible memory of that 
> place and time in the anguish he suffered when the Dementors came 
> near him. He knows that his parents died to save him--not a truth 
> that he's ready to face in the early books. (He may even be 
> suffering from survivor's guilt, compounded by the deaths of
> Cedric Diggory and Sirius Black.) <snip>

vera:

Harry gradually unveils his past over the years which as Carol 
brilliantly described was a slow process.
 
Dumbledore was aware of the fact that Harry's story would be too 
overwhelming for a child to bear and that was one of the reasons he 
sent him to the Dursleys, (as he mentions in PS), even though I'm 
not sure he would have done so had he known how they would treat 
him. I think that living with the Dursley's made Harry idealise the 
image of his parents for obvious reasons.

The discovery of his background was extremely abrupt and definitely 
overwhelming. Harry came face to face with a history that wasn't 
his own. He inherited a heavily symbolic scar, a horrific enemy, all 
the fame he never asked and most of all the burden of his parents' 
death. I believe that Carol actually pointed out the most important 
element on Harry's character, guilt. How can he visit the graves of 
the people who loved him most and who, in Harry's view, died because 
of him.
  
My personal opinion is that if his parents had died of, let's say, 
a broomstick accident, Harry would have never been involved in 
anything as heroic. His whole bravery and determination stems from 
the fact that he feels responsible for his parents' death and now he
needs to do something about it. His parents' death should not have 
been in vain. Therefore, I believe that the more he discovers about
his parents the more disappointed he is bound to be.  His character 
has been moulded out of neglect and humiliation into humility and 
empathy. His parents' bravery derived from the love they experienced 
when their child was born. Harry doesn't realise this and that is 
why he feels disappointed. 

Dumbledore of course knows, and he keeps the prophecy secret for as 
long as he can. The boy shouldn't have to deal with that as well. 
He hopes that experience along with choice will prepare him in the 
future so he buys him time. What I think makes this character 
special is the fact that Harry spends too little time in denial, and 
does his best from the very first year, where another could have 
been blinded by fear and pain and would have withdrawn. 

I don't remember if this is a trait that we have when we are 
children, perhaps it is, I'm not really sure, but most of the 
children I have discussed this with told me that they are not aware 
that Harry is brave just for not being in denial. Death, they told 
me, is not something you deny and visiting your parents' graves 
doesn't help. A particular fourteen-year-old student who lost her 
mother at a very early age told me that she had never had the urge 
to visit her mother's grave and that she does it because her family
insists. She never wondered why Harry never visited their graves 
because she feels the same way.  So, there you are. Please let me 
know what you think.