Fleur and the Weasley women

[Steve]

No: HPFGUIDX 152391

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "ericoppen" <oppen at ...> wrote:
>
> While I agree that Fleur Delacour could have been a lot more 
> polite when we saw her _chez_ Weasley, I think there'd have 
> been a lot of friction even if she was as sweet ....
> 
> Molly Weasley is used to being _the_ Alpha Female in that 
> little pack, and does not care much for competition. And 
> Fleur, being part-veela, can't help but make guys go slightly
> gaga, which had to irritate Molly (and Ginny).
> 
> I shouldn't be a bit surprised to find out that part-veela 
> women often have a lot of trouble getting along with "normal" 
> magical women, merely because their "attraction" creates a great
> deal of resentment 
> ....
>

bboyminn:

Of course we have just been treated to a very long and polarized
thread on the Ginny/Hermione/Molly/Fleur dynamic. A thread in which I
personally think people are making far too big a deal out of what I
see as nothing but a bunch of fun comedy relief.

To my first point, Fleur is out of her element at the Weasley house.
She is among essentially strangers on whom she depends for everything.
Everyone has their favorite chair in the living room, their favorite
chair at the dinner table, they have their favorite topics of
conversation, and Fleur is very much odd-man-out. Been there, done that.

Haven't you ever been over to a friends house when his/her parents
were there? It completely throws off the dynamic. When you are alone
with your friends you can be free and easy. When the parents are
there, everything is uptight, awkward, and uncomfortably formal. In
otherwords, extremely unpleasant for a teen.

So, Fleur is in an already uncomfortable and awkward situation, her
relationship is with Bill, all these other people are merely strangers
she has to put up with. And to the Weasley, again their relationship
is with Bill not Fleur, so she is merely a stranger they are obligated
to welcome into their home, but with whom they really have nothing in
common.

Next, Fleur is a bit obnoxious, a bit conceited, a bit full of
herself, and just generally annoying to the steady comfortable people
of the Weasley household. Believe it or not, that's perfectly normal. 

Next, compound everything by Fleur Veela-ness, and you have a social
cocktail built for resentment. I'm sure there is a small element of
Hermione, Ginny, Molly, and probably everyone else who wonders if Bill
is really in love, or if he has simply been enchanted by Fleur's
Veela-ness. That added element of suspicion and distrust is probably
subconscious, but very real none the less. 

Finally, the /Alpha-Female/ aspect. I'm really glad you brought that
up because, I think we have several Alpha-Females thrown into the mix.
Ginny is no slouch amoung her peers; she's as Alpha as they come.
While she may be an alpha-female amoung her peers, she reins it in
around Molly because Molly is her mother; Alpha-Mother always trumps
Alpha-Daughter. 

Though it is much more subtle, Hermione is an Alpha-Female. She is not
a follower. She doesn't hang around with gangs of simpering
girly-girls. She is not an assertive Alpha-Female, but she is
certainly not a follower or one of the pack. She is strong, forceful,
independant, and determined. 

Compound all this by Fleur being an Alpha-Female, and you have a
powder keg ready to blow. Fleur is outgoing, outspoken, assertive, and
apparently used to being deferred to and getting her own way. She top
student in her school, a tri-wizards champion, and the one to win the
heart of the boy she chose.

Throw together that many alpha-anything, and you are asking for
trouble. Normally, Molly rules the roost. But Fleur, I suspect, see no
need to yeild to Molly's authority.

So, put Fleur and her /unique/ personality into a socially awkward
situation with nothing in common and nothing to talk about, and there
is bound to be some underlying hostility. Lacking any subjects in
common, Fleur has nothing to talk about but the wedding, which she
manages to do in a way that is consistent with her self-center
obnoxious personality. So, people are annoyed, but anyone in that same
circumstance is going to feel a degree of annoyance. Most people just
endure the 'meet the parents/family' stage and hope it ends mercifully
soon. 

Given all that, I thought people acted as expected. Ginny, Hermione,
and Molly are annoyed by Fleur, how could they not be, but they accept
it. But even in accepting it, it feels good to blow off some steam
when Fleur isn't around. That's really what friends are for, to allow
you to say the things that you can't say in any other social
situation. So, they have some fun at Fleur expense, and have a laugh
or two. That's not really as harmful as people are making it out. It's
actually very healthy to have an outlet for that frustration, that
prevents it from building into something far more regretable.

Fleur, on the other hand, is ignoring them and endlessly prattling on
about the Wedding, and what color are the dresses, and who's going to
do this and that. Partly, as I said, because it is the only topic of
conversation they have in common, and partly because with Fleur
everything is me, me, me. 

But I think the scene in the Hospital Wing at Hogwarts made converts
out of the doubters. Fleur has shown a fierce unwavering dedication to
Bill, and I think that helps remove any doubts as to whether Fleur was
actually in love with Bill, or just enjoying playing the role of the
bride-to-be. 

So we have- 

-the Clash of the Social Awkward Situations.
-the Clash of the Alpah-Females.
-the Clash of the Oddball in-laws that must be endured by all.
-and the ever painful Meet the Parents & Family.

Which all adds up to one funny chapter in my book, and in JKR's too.

Steve/bboyminn