JKR and the boys

[Geoff Bannister]

No: HPFGUIDX 161482

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "Steve" <bboyminn at ...> wrote:

> Personally, I am positively stunned by how well JKR
> captures the inner landscape of her male characters. I
> think it is a stunning achievement, and a task she 
> succeeds at far better than most other female authors.
> 
> Remember, you heard it here first.
> 
> Steve/bboyminn

Geoff;
With respect, you're not the first. :-)

I have been intending to reply along the same lines as you 
but just haven't had the time.

However, I shall start with a quote just to show that there 
is no new thread under the sun, (with apologies to 
Ecclesiastes chapter 1 verse 9).

Over three years ago in July 2003, a poster called Fred Uloth, 
wrote the following in message 79417 in a thread "Things 
that will come into play later":

> Hmm...I'm led to believe a woman wrote this post. I think
> JKR nailed male relationships very well with this one. For
> women, a good friend is someone with whom they can cry,
> share emotions, discuss whatever. To a man (at least in 
> Teens and Tweens) a good friend is someone who is there,
> shows loyalty and doesn't pry into emotional issues. The girls 
> (Hermy, Cho, Jenny) are the one that keeps bringing up the
> topics Harry wants to avoid (death, dreams, etc). Neville's 
> comment after Sirius dies is as intimate a question as any
> guy would get with another guy. If Ron were asking the
> questions that Hermione asks and Harry didn't blow his top,
> then I'd say the people who think Harry is light in the loafers 
> may have a leg to stand on. JKR has a VERY good handle on
> relationship dynamics of teenage boys. Guys don't want to
> talk about it...not when the wounds are still fresh anyway..
>if they do, it will only be with a female that they really trust.
> I don't think we should be slighting Ron for being a typical
>  teenage boy...when push comes to shove, Ron is always 
> on Harry's side.

To which I replied:

"She has indeed handled male relations well. I feel that I relate 
to HP because I can see myself at that age. I was considered 
something of a "boffin" (probably a geek in modern speech!,
something like Hermione even in having my nose in books and 
more interested in intellectual things. Being at an all-male
school (the UK norm at that time) didn't help my contact with
girls and, like HP, I had a number of disasters a la Cho Chang.

One of the things which I always dislike is the "big boys don't 
cry" attitude often drummed into our heads. Looking at Harry's 
responses to some of the deep emotional moments, I can recall 
when my eldest son was born and there was a medical crisis 
which threatened both mother and baby. I was left out on a limb 
feeling absolutely devastated waiting for news and wishing that
I could go and have a good bawl on someone's shoulder - and 
I couldn't. There wasn't a shoulder handy and I couldn't break
through the conditioning.

There is also the male bonding which I recently mentioned in 
connection wih CS Lewis' "Four Loves" - friends together just to 
enjoy each other's company. My wife often berates me because 
in phone conversations with our two sons, who are still in London, 
she gets involved in their "relationship" lives - particularly the 
younger one who has had a couple of relationship crash-landings 
but, when I get to the phone, we discuss DVDs, politics, computers 
et al. Fred is right, that's the way male dynamics often work -and 
not only teens and tweens."

***

Coming up to the current thread, we have to remember that we are 
only seeing part of the Hogwarts year. In Philosopher's Stone for 
example, out of a 45-46 week year if you count the Christmas and 
Easter holidays as well as the three terms, how much time do we 
really share with the Trio?

And, with sexual development, in how many books involving young 
people would you find the question of wet dreams and as some one 
put it euphemistically and (amusingly) self-discovery aired as part 
of the plot of the story? Can you imagine Ron bouncing into breakfast, 
sitting down next to Harry and saying out loud "I've just had a 
smashing wet dream?"

As some older members will know, my wife and I ran a boys' club at 
our church for 10 years until we stepped down in the summer of last 
year. These weren't just church guys; there were a couple of dozen 
mid-teens from a wide range of backgrounds. It used to be interesting 
discreetly eavesdropping on their conversations when they were sitting 
a game out or stopping for a drink. References to sex were very muted 
and casual. There would be more ribbing for one of the lads who was 
glued to his mobile phone swapping texts with girls than any discussion 
of anything more "hands on".

I agree wholeheartedly with Steve - and previous posters back in 2003 - 
that, in my view speaking as a mere male - JKR has got an amazing grasp 
of our thought processes. Amazing, because after 35 years of marriage, I 
still don't always fathom which way my wife's train of thought is going, nor 
my daughter's for that matter.

Possibly, like Harry and Ron, I just have the emotional range of a teaspoon. 
:-)