FILK: Slish Slash

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 161489

Despite the title, this is a purely Canonic filk, and goes along with 
the current discussion on Chapter 24

Slish Slash (HBP, Chap. 24) 

To the tune of Bobby Darrin's Splish Splash

Darrin's rendition of this song can be heard on this you-tube video 
(ignore the silly visuals)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_O_wFfguwUI

THE SCENE: The Sixth Floor Restroom.  HARRY describes a deadly 
encounter with Draco, and an even deadlier encounter with Snape 

HARRY:
Sneak snap, I was checking the map
Looking for a dot of Draco
The Malfoy boy in the toilet gave an "Oy!"
Makin' ev'ry tear-duct to flow

As I stepped in the john, Draco pulled out his wand
I ducked a Crucio curse
>From that Slytherin blonde, and then-a
Slish, slash! A Prince curse in a flash!
Well, how was I to know just what a Sectumsempra does?

There was a-slashing and a-slicing
Hurting and a-spurting, bleeding and a-bleating
Moanin' and a Myrtlin', yeah!

(Myrtle plays a sax solo, as Draco writhes in time to the music)

Thunk thud, he's all drenched in blood
Myrtle gave a deafening shriek, yeah!
Ill will, I did not mean to kill
Draco M. with Half-Blood techniques

There was Sevvy Snape in a royal stew
She hurtled, Miss Myrtle, straightaway down the loo 
A-well-a, slish slash, he healed up that gash
He went and used his magical charms, yay...

He was a-humming and a-healing, litany made o' dittany, 
Progressin' convalescin', barrin' all the scarrin', yeah!

(Snape picks up the sax left behind by Myrtle, and plays a solo as he 
escorts Draco to Madam Pomfrey – HARRY resumes his vocal as Snape 
returns)

Yes, he was a-glaring and a-growling
I was Legilimencing sensing, yeah
He was inspecting and dissecting, woo!
He was accusing my perusing
He was convincing I'd been Princing
Looking through my booking
Slish, slash, yeah!

Yes, I'm not commencin' Occlumencin' (one time!)
He is a-dealing out detentions, woo wee!
He is a-quitting me from Quidditch 
Yes, he was a-glaring and a-growling

.

    -	CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm