Respecting the Dursleys( was:Re: Hi everyone -- banning the books)

[Beatrice23]

No: HPFGUIDX 159682

Bruce Alan Wilson <bawilson at ...> wrote:
> Yes, we laughed at Dudley at the beginning, but that doesn't
> mean that we won't feel sympathy for him by the end.
SNIP
> Early in the play there is a character called "Bessie Bighead"
> who is depicted as laying flowers on the grave of Gomer Owen
> who 'kissed her once by the pigsty when she wasn't looking,
> and never did it again although she was looking all the time.'
> Now, that line always gets a laugh.  Later in the play we learn
> more about Bessie.  She's what we today would call Down Syndrome
> or something similar, and Gomer Owen kissed her because his
> friends dared him to.  At this point, the audience always gasps,
> realizing what they had been laughing at earlier.
>
> I suspect that JKR may do something similar with Dudley and his
> parents.


BEATRICE:

I agree with Dumbledore (although, I didn't care for this scene as it
seemed a bit out of character -more like JKR's agenda than a scene
that came "organically" from the characters).

I have always seen both Harry and Dudley as horribly abused.  In
different ways certainly, but while Harry may be more sympathetic, I
think that Dudley deserves more pity than Harry.  If you would
indulge me...

Harry gains the readers sympathy, in part, because he is so viciously
abused by his aunt and uncle.  And as good readers we do what we are
meant to: we care about Harry and we despise or resent PD and VD.
Dudley as a member of the household, treats Harry in much the same
way as his parents and thus earns our disdain.

One of the primary differences between Harry and DD is that Harry is
capable of kindness, friendship, and love.  Why? Because he was once
loved by his mother which as we are frequently told "marked" him.  So
taking this into consideration, we must conclude that Dudley who is
incapable of kindness, true friendship, or true love (I can give
example of this if you wish - but I am not writing a dissertation
here) has never actually been loved.

While both boys are raised in the same household, they are abused in
different ways.  Harry's abuse, however, does not rob him of the
ability to be a compassionate individual.  Dudley's abuse is prehaps
worse than Harry's as it not only turns him into an abuser (of Harry
and as we have seen of other children), but it will probably prevent
him from ever experiencing actual love.  Who could ever love Dudley?
Only someone who is abusive like himself or someone who is abused.
Any relationship he may have will either be based on a desire to
abuse others or may be locked in a master and servant like
relationship, neither of which could ever be truly loving.

Vernon and Petunia's spoiling of Dudley really needs to be seen as
abusive and as insidious as their treatment of Harry.  I think that
they set out as many parents do thinking that overindulging their
child is an appropriate way to demonstate the depth of their love,
what they never realize (perhaps because they are unloved or they
simply never realized what love was) is that they never actually
demonstrate real love for their child.  They never help him to
becoming a "loving," and thus a "lovable" individual by setting
limits, teaching that love is not measured in material possessions,
and that love cannot be approximated in large quantities of food.

As an adult, Dudley will be a miserable failure (unless he is able to
see the damage that has been done to him and work to change
himself).  He will be unable to care for himself, unable to function
as a productive adult, unable to set goals and limits for himself,
and above all incapable of love.  A spoiled child isn't a "well-
loved" or even an over-loved child, he or she is simply a neglected
and abused child who deserves our sympathy even more than a child
like Harry, because they have been so marked, so scarred by the abuse
that they are incapable of evoking the love and compassion of others.