Mother Molly & The Family Weasley (was:Respecting the Dursleys...)

[horridporrid03]

No: HPFGUIDX 159865

> >>Magpie:
> > <snip> ...there are plenty of people in fandom who think Molly's 
> > a nightmare of a mother, one that pushes all their buttons (they 
> > tend to get into arguments with other fans who see Molly as what 
> > Good Mothers Are Supposed To Be Like).  
> > <snip>

> >>Jenni from Alabama
> The twins and others have said that Molly knows how to 'push all 
> their buttons'. Well, in my opinion she KNOWS her family well so   
> she knows what buttons to push!

Betsy Hp:
I'm not sure if this is what Magpie meant, but as someone less than 
fond of Molly I can say that she pushes *my* buttons.  There are 
many scenes with Molly that leave me absolutely cringing.

> >>Jenni from Alabama:
> <snip>
> Molly Weasley IS a good mother figure. She has a wonderful heart 
> for others. She is supportive of her husband and shows genuine 
> affection for him, both to him and in front of her children and 
> others.


Betsy Hp:
See, I think Molly disrespects Arthur terribly.  It's no wonder the 
younger Weasleys (Percy on down) see Arthur and his passion as a bit 
of a joke.  That's how Molly plays it and they follow her lead.  
Arthur is thrilled that he's working in Muggle-relations, and he's 
sorry to have to leave it due to the war.  Molly see Arthur as being 
stuck in a dead-end position and is thrilled when he's forced to 
move on.  (This is part of the reason I see their marriage as 
hanging on by a string.)

A perfect example of Arthur and Molly being anything but a team is 
the aftermath of the ton-tongue toffee prank in GoF.  By the time 
Molly is through, Arthur's point is lost and the twins feel like 
their actions were fine.  To my mind Molly was far too comfortable 
over-riding and dismissing her husband.  (And Arthur was too 
accommodating, IMO.)

> >>Jenni from Alabama:
> She is human so she'll make mistakes, but she always tries 
> to do the right thing by her kids. She adores them, the twins too!

Betsy Hp:
Absolutely, Molly loves her children.  Especially the twins (her 
favorites, I'd say).  And I do think she tries to do the right 
thing.  I just think she generally fails.  Human, yes.  But it's why 
I dislike the idea that she represents some sort of ideal mother. 
 
> >>Jenni from Alabama:
> Molly loves her children, accepting their different personalities 
> and quirks but she also disciplines them.
> <snip>

Betsy Hp:
See, I think Molly tries to force all of her children (or all her 
sons, anyway) into her one perfect mold.  And she emotionally 
punishes them if they fail by withdrawing her approval.  Which is a 
form of discipline, but not one I admire.  

The twins have managed to work around her system by being so loudly 
disobedient they demand her attention. Percy does his best to 
fulfill her expectations.  But poor Ron, not wanting to suffer as 
Percy does from the twins, is left in a sort of no-mans land.  He 
cannot please Molly without earning the wrath of the twins.  But he 
can't please the twins without earning the wrath of his mother.  So 
he keeps his head down and is subsequently ignored.  Since Molly is 
the adult in this situation, I hold her responsible.   

> >>Jenni from Alabama:
> She has a life, contributing to a wonderful cause! Though her     
> family is her top priority, she has other interests outside her    
> home. She lives her life, doesn't shut herself up in her little    
> Burrow. 

Betsy Hp:
Really?  I'vw always thought of Molly as very isolated.  Hence her 
rather narrow view of the world.  And her disappointment in her 
husband.


> >>Jenni from Alabama:
> Concerning the 'rift' - as far as Percy is concerned, I just have 
> this gut feeling that he isn't acting of his own free will at the 
> present time. I think he is being controlled by the Imperius Curse 
> by someone who has been placed inside the ministry by the DE's.
> <snip>

Betsy Hp:
It's an interesting theory.  But remember, Arthur threw Percy out.  
Percy didn't just up and walk away, he was asked to leave.  I don't 
think the fight was something Percy could have predicted.  
Especially as he'd achieved exactly what his mother asked of him.  

> >>Jenni from Alabama:
> Something happened during the summer after Crouch Sr. was killed. 
> Someone got to Percy and did SOMETHING to him. What I don't know, 
> but something happened.
> <snip>

Betsy Hp:
Personally, I love the idea of Percy being Dumbledore's eyes and 
ears at the Ministry.  Very little canon, though. But again, we have 
to remember that it was *Arthur* who started the fight.  It was 
Arthur who made it impossible for Percy to stay.  (Well, yes, Percy 
could have chosen to quit.  That would have appeased Arthur.  Which 
is highly bizarre considering that Arthur was asking Percy to leave 
an institution Arthur works for himself.)

> >>Magpie:
> > One of the interesting things about the HP-verse is that there 
> > really are no truly happy families--except the Potters who got
> > that way by dying.  Even the Weasleys currently have a painful
> > rift going on--one that some people are happy to dismiss as just 
> > a cuckoo in the nest turning out to be a DE but which seems to me
> > much more realistically described as pointing to some of the    
> > long-running flaws in the Weasley family.
> > <snip>

Betsy Hp:
I'm betting there are worms under the Potter family rock too.  It's 
just we've never had a chance to look at them.  Not because of 
anything in the books, but I just don't think JKR is capable of 
writing a "perfect" or even just "truly happy" family.  I think 
she's too cynical when it comes to families for that.  (This is a 
gut call on my part.  I obviously don't know JKR personally, but 
that's the sense I get from the books.)

Betsy Hp