Identifying with Muggles - The Dursley and 'Terrifying' Abuse

[Steve]

No: HPFGUIDX 158223

--- , "horridporrid03" <horridporrid03 at ...> wrote:
> 
> > >>bboyminn:
> > Some make it sound like Dumbledore is engages in this
> > horrible and terrifying abuse of the Dursleys when in
> > fact he merely annoyed them. 
> > <snip>
> > Dumbledore is polite, never hostile or threatening, 
> > ... once he introduced himself ..., the most basic 
> > and minimal courtesy should have been observed. 
> > <snip>
> 
> Betsy Hp: (with a more serious hat on at this time)
>
> I think there are two things going on in this scene,
> which is why poster's points of view can become 
> confusing. We have the Dursleys' actions, and we have
> Dumbledore's actions.
> 
> I don't think anyone has argued that the Dursleys behave
> well.  ...  Emily Post would not be pleased.
> 
> ... Dumbledore may have been pleasant, but he wasn't 
> polite.  
> 

bboyminn:

Well, you will notice that when I said I though the 
Dursleys had an obligation to basic courtesy, I used 
terms like 'terse', blunt, 'get-to-the-point'. While I 
believe there was a minimum level of courtesy due, that
doesn't mean they had to be 'nice'. I think the Dursleys
could have observed a unpleasant but none the less 
courteous 'get on with and be done with it' brand of
courtesy. 

As to Dumbledore's level of courtesy, I think he may
have had valid reasons for it, which I will explore 
further down this post.


> Betsy Hp:  
> 
> However, he chose to bring magic into the picture. And
> he used it against the Muggles in that home.  All of 
> them. Including the child he identifies as having been
> abused.  ...  In a manner designed to make the Muggles 
> uncomfortable. I find little to praise in it.  And it 
> shifts my sympathies to the Muggles, ....
> 
> I *do* think Dumbledore was both hostile and 
> threatening. Just, in a very low key sort of way.  ...
> 
> Betsy Hp
>

bboyminn:

I'm going to defend Dumbledore briefly, but not because
I think you are wrong, you have a very reasoned and 
measured view of the situation and an honest reaction, 
but because, now after the fact, some hindsight or a 
shifted view point might help you judge Dumbledore less
harshly.

To the magic, I can see your point and can even believe
it. Even Harry thinks Dumbledore is having some fun at 
the Dursleys expense, and he probably is. But, let us 
remember that to Dumbledore magic is mundane. In any 
other forum, under any other circumstance, if Dumbledore
wanted a pot of tea or a glass of wine, he isn't going 
to schlep down to the kitchen and put the kettle on. No,
a quick wave of his wand, and he has what he wants. 

Which brings me to my more critical point - expedients.
Dumbledore has things to do and places to go, he can't 
spend his time in verbal duels with the Dursleys. He 
can't stand there tapping his toe waiting for the 
Dursleys to slip out of their social coma. He needs to 
do what he needs to do, and he needs to say what he needs
to say, then he needs to leave and go where he needs to 
go. That would never get done if he had waited for the 
Dursley's to take the lead.

So it's -

'Let us assume you have invited me in.'

'Let us assume you have further invited me into the 
living room where we can talk.'

'Seems pointless to assume you will offer me a drink, so
let me offer you one.'

...Sirius ...Grimmauld Place ...Kreather ...Dursley are
nasty ill-mannered people ...Harry pack you bag ...we are
out of here. ...bing ...bang ...zoom ...and they are out
the door.

I have sympathy for Dumbledore even though he was 
certainly teasing the Dursley because I see the 
unnecessary resistance he was facing to accomplishing 
his tasks. If the Dursleys really wanted Harry and 
Dumbledore gone, they would have tried to expedite the 
situation. 

And really, I can't deny that it would have been nice 
of Harry to give the Dursleys some advance warning. 
Let us not forget Harry role in this fiasco.

Even so, I do see how you can see the use of magic as
'unfair' and somewhat intimidating to the Dursleys, but
on the otherhand, the Dursley seem bent on intimidating
everyone they meet, so while I can understand your 
sympathy, my own is very limited.

Steve/bboyminn