[HPforGrownups] Re: Sirius, Sirus, and more Sirius/ Blood protection/ Dumbledore and Harry

[Magpie]

No: HPFGUIDX 158548

Tonks:
I get the feeling that those on one side of the fence seem to think that 
there are all these *loving* families out there.  I want to ask what 
fairytale is that?  There are a few, very few, mentally healthy families 
where children get good parenting, feel loved and grow up
to be well adjusted.

Magpie:
You're right, I do think there are families out there who are capable of 
loving their children.  Most of the ones I've met in my life, in fact.  So I 
can't pretend the Dursleys' treatment of Harry is "normal" and they're just 
the typical family just to make Dumbledore look good.  I'm not sure what 
you're describing by "mentally unhealthy" families incapable of being good 
parents, making their children feel loved and producing well-adjusted people 
(I know of such situations but it seems like you're stretching it way beyond 
where I would), but it doesn't seem like canon's so full of them. Luna seems 
to have nice parents, so did Cedric.  The Weasleys care about Harry. I would 
bet Hermione's parents wouldn't have called him names or given Hermione lots 
of presents while denying him birthday parties.  And most of these families 
are probably "mentally unhealthy" in one way or another.  I think many 
people are capable of taking in a neice or nephew without every day making 
sure to bully him and tell him he's a freak and unworthy and unwanted in the 
house.

Tonks:
What a disservice JKR would have done to the children of the world if she 
has put Harry in some *fairytale* goody, goody family all sweetness
and light and kisses and hugs all the time.

Magpie:
JKR DID put Harry in a *fairy tale.*  It's called Cinderella and I think 
most people recognize the opening chapter as such.  I don't understand why 
this thread keeps having to veer into extremes--either you're with the 
Dursleys or it's sweetness and light and kisses all the time?  There's 
plenty of families in canon that fall in the imo more normal middle. You 
seem to be the only one equating good parenting with perfect sweetness and 
light all the time.

Tonks:
And even those few who do usually have times when they feel misunderstood 
and unloved.  All children can identify with Harry and learn from him, 
something they might not be able to do if he had been raised by a fairytale 
family.

Magpie:
Yesk, they FEEL misunderstood and unloved--that doesn't mean they are. 
Harry IS misunderstood and unloved every day at the Dursleys.  Children like 
reading about that. I don't think anyone is arguing that *JKR* has done some 
horrible wrong by putting Harry with the Dursleys.  I think everyone gets 
the appeal of that situation in fiction.  I accept that this is a device to 
get Harry into his fairy-tale (in the bad way) situation and I accept it had 
to happen as I accept a lot of things that way.  I don't have to argue it to 
myself as if it were real.  But if I am going to argue it to myself as if it 
were real (which is basically what the thread is doing, imagining what 
options Dumbledore had and which one was best), it's Dumbledore that's going 
to get tarnished, not the entire rest of reality.

Betsy:
So Harry is not in rags, he's not overworked.  I think there are 
*references* to Cinderella, but they're very, very mild.  Harry isn't 
responsible for keeping the house clean, fixing the meals, keeping the 
garden in order as I'd expect in a Cinderella mirror.  Aunt Petunia does all 
that.  When she needs help, she calls for Harry (not wanting to bother her 
sweet Dudley), which isn't fair, but it isn't abusive really.

Magpie:
References to Cinderella is what I'm talking about.  I mean, she's not going 
to write a brutal abuse novel and no one would want her to.  But Cinderella 
wasn't beaten bloody either.  She can't go to the ball, she has to do chores 
when her step sisters don't, she wears ugly clothes (Harry in broken glasses 
and Dudley's hand me downs are the modern equivalent).  She sits in the 
ashes, he sits amongst the cobwebs.  He has no friends.  Dudley gets to hit 
him.  And that's fine because in both cases the fairy godparent arrives and 
takes him/her away.  Only in Harry's case the fairy godmother also caused 
everything.  It's not a horrible abuse situation, but it's an unhappy life. 
Which we can either accept was necessary for blood protection or not.  I can 
accept it, but it's not really dramatized in the story that I can see.  If 
you tell don't show, people probably question more.


-m