Sirius, Sirus, and more Sirius/ Blood protection/ Dumbledore and Harry

[sistermagpie]

No: HPFGUIDX 158572


> > Alla:
> > 
> > What I hear you saying is that Dursleys are a typical family and 
> > most kids are growing up in families like that? I am really not 
sure 
> > how to respond to this.
> > 
> > I will just say that there are many many families which are 
**not** 
> > like Dursleys .
> >
> 
> Tesha:
> and Alla, the abuse Harry lives through is not that far off center.
> Families go through tough times, tempers get short, dad takes up
> drinking when he looses his job, mom is frazzled with a job the
> housework and the kids. Harry isn't tortured, he's simply "a 
problem"
> for his caretakers. If you never felt this as a kid, not even once,
> then you're really very lucky.
> 
> JKR was brilliant to have Harry placed with the Dursley's, I felt
> empathy for him almost immediately and it drew me right in....

Magpie:
But you're still talking about two different things. One is *JKR's* 
placing Harry with the Dursleys and how appealing that is for us 
readers because we can empathize with his OTT situation.  Just as 
people write fanfics where Harry's abuse at the Dursley's hands 
reaches Marquis de Sade proportions so that we can enjoy the 
hurt/comfort.  The other is people thinking of this world as real 
and considering *Dumbledore's* placing Harry with these actual real 
people.  Harry is in no way a kid in a normal family because Harry 
is considered an outsider in the family, is openly rejected by 
everyone in the family while they cling to each other.  This is not 
my attempt to drum up more hatred for the blood protection idea; I'm 
just saying I don't see how anyone could see Harry's relationship 
with the Dursleys as standing in for "normal family relations" in a 
literal way.  There are some aspects of it that speak to families, 
but for goodness sake, Harry doesn't love this people!  Does it 
really seem like that's JKR's idea of a normal family?  She who's 
given us so many examples of actual families like the ones you 
describe, where family members sometimes hurt each other (but not to 
the point of Dad strangling Junior over a trivial offense) or 
mistreat each other but who underneath clearly love each other?  
Hogwarts is the first home Harry has ever known, by his own 
admission.

Clifford:
So Harry leans to adapt and cope. He used his wits to save the
Sorcerers Stone, to fight the basilisk, etc. at ages 11 and 12. Put
your average kid of 11 or 12 who grew up in a safe, loving home into
those situations and you'll have a disaster. SS would have been a
horror story.

Magpie:
To us as *readers* Harry is *symbolically* learning to handle 
himself early in life, which is fine.  We meet him as a sarcastic 11-
year-old confident in his own self-worth handling the Dursleys like 
the crazy charicatures they are.  But I really don't think you can 
literally compare this situation if it were real to the reality of a 
kid learning to ride a bike at 5 intead of 14 or getting mumps.  I 
really don't think it is an empowering thing to raise a child 
without love.  Like, literally withold all affection from a 4-year-
old?  There's very little strength to build on there if you're not 
valued by anyone at all.  Harry himself, after all, has been given 
his gift of love "magically."   We're not talking about something 
positive like giving Harry freedom or encouraging him to do things 
on his own.  We're talking about giving him as little as possible 
and tearing him down.

I think we all know Harry's situation isn't supposed to be strictly 
realistic.  The Dursleys may, as is said above, symbolically 
represent the way kids who have normal lives sometimes feel put-
upon.  He may also appeal to kids who tragically really do lead 
horrific lives since remember, we're reading wish-fulfillment here. 
And that's great.  I don't think anyone's disagreeing on that or 
having a problem with JKR choosing this for her story.  But I assume 
people aren't really arguing that witholding all love and affection 
from toddlers is a good thing.  Being loved by your family doesn't 
make you a sissy.

I'd also challenge the idea that Harry would have fallen apart in 
PS/SS if he'd had a normal family.  It just frankly feels like in 
order to defend Dumbledore's decision as a good thing we're tearing 
down normal families in a way that's a little strange.  Harry has 
two sidekicks who have both *chosen* to stand by him and have shown 
plenty of courage and resourcefulness themselves, and they were both 
raised in normal homes. And even if the Dursley's cruel treatment of 
Harry did ultimately have advantages to his character, that wouldn't 
make it right.  

-m