Protection-Abuse / Patron-Client (was:re:Blood protection/ Dumbledore and Ha

[Tonks]

No: HPFGUIDX 158612

> 
> Because two-handed choking is an extreme method of physical
> aggression, I find it highly unlikely that someone would do that 
over a triviality without having first progressed through things like
> hitting -- enough to be likely to hit someone with little 
provocation.
> 
> I am rather appalled that anyone would consider Harry's situation
> within the bounds of normal.  I don't know a single family that 
would keep a child in a cupboard, nor especially confine them for 
days or weeks on end.  I don't know any family that would put bars 
on the window of a child in order to keep them *in* during any sort 
of normal circumstances.  I currently have a 13 year old son and 13 
year old boys need *far* more than a can of soup to be healthy.
> 
> In the real world, abuse is not defined as "what kills the kid."  
Just because Harry wasn't in immediate danger of dying at the 
Dursley's hands doesn't mean he wasn't being abused.  
> 


Tonks:
The *only* thing that I was responding to was you assertion that one 
act of physical aggression (in this case choking) is a *definite* 
indication that the person has a history of physical aggression.  I 
am saying that you can not assume that.  You can not assume 
someone's past history by one observation of one act.  You said that 
if you "ever heard of an adult choking a child with two hands, would 
immediately assume that the adult had a history of
 physically abusing the child".  In fact, you have said that you did 
not even need to see it yourself, you only needed to hear about it 
and that person is branded in your mind as someone who has been 
abusing that child.  

All I am saying is that is it not fair to assume something about 
someone that, 1. You did not witness yourself and, 2. When you do 
not know the past history.  Things are not always what they appear 
to be.  I am not arguing for or against the Dursleys.  I am arguing 
against the *idea* that you can know for certain about someone's, 
anyone's, prior history by one act.

And I do not agree that choking someone is a higher form of abuse 
that hitting someone. One is as bad as the other in my book. So it 
does not follow that there can have been prior abuse by just looking 
at one act. Again, I am not talking about just Vernon here, I am 
talking about anyone. 

Tonks_op