Harry and the Dursleys - To abuse or not to abuse, that is the question.

[Steve]

No: HPFGUIDX 158628

Once again we are discussing the wholly unresolvable 
question of whether Harry was /abused/ by the Dursleys.
I would go so far as to say that the nature of their 
treatment of Harry was 'abusive', but given the horrible
nature of true abuse in the world, I stop short of 
assigning that label to the Dursleys. 

Perhaps we should ask Harry, or at least take his example
from the books, if he was abused. I'm sure he would agree
that the Dursleys were mean and nasty. But Harry seems 
quite capable of handling himself. True Dudley is 
physically stronger than Harry and certainly likes to 
push Harry and any other kid he can get his hands on 
around, but we also see that Harry is far superior in a
match of wits. 

- - - Quote PS/SS - - -
"They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first day
at Stonewall," he told Harry. "Want to come upstairs and
practice?"

"No, thanks," said Harry. "The poor toilet's never had 
anything as horrible as your head down it -- it might be
sick." Then he ran, before Dudley could work out what 
he'd said.
- - - end quote - - -

When Vernon is refusing to let Harry go to the World Cup-

- - - Quote GoF - - -
"How many times do I have to tell you not to mention that
unnaturalness under my roof?" he hissed, his face now a 
rich plum color. "You stand there, in the clothes Petunia
and I have put on your ungrateful back -"

"Only after Dudley finished with them," said Harry coldly,
and indeed, he was dressed in a sweatshirt so large for
him that he had had to roll back the sleeves five times 
so as to be able to use his hands, and which fell past 
the knees of his extremely baggy jeans.

"I will not be spoken to like that!" said Uncle Vernon, 
trembling with rage.

But Harry wasn't going to stand for this. Gone were the 
days when he had been forced to take every single one of 
the Dursleys' stupid rules. He wasn't following Dudley's
diet, and he wasn't going to let Uncle Vernon stop him 
from going to the Quidditch World Cup, not if he could 
help it. Harry took a deep, steadying breath and then 
said, "Okay, I can't see the World Cup. Can I go now,
then? Only I've got a letter to Sirius I want to finish.
You know - my godfather."
- - - End Quote - - -

He's learn to stay clear of Uncle Vernon, because he 
doesn't want to be man-handled, which I think is closer
to what happened that out and out abuse. I'm not saying
physical punishments didn't occur, but keep in mind 
we are talking about a society in which corporal 
punishment was common in schools as late as the 1980's 
and to some extent even carries on today. 

Harry has adapted mechanisms that keep him clear of 
Dudley's mistreatment and keeps him out of Uncle Vernon's
reach in all but the most extreme cases. 

I think this is how Harry was able to escape from his 
/abusive/ situation with little or no significant damage.
Because he was constantly able to us his intelligence 
and wits to outwit clearly inferior opponents. I think 
this is what sustained Harry, his own internal knowledge
that he is clearly superior to these people.

Harry doesn't seem to take the situation as personally or
as seriously as we the readers do. I think we should 
wisely let Harry be our model under this circumstance. 
Though I admit, that in cases of real abuse, the victim 
doesn't always have the clearest perspective, but it 
seems clear to me, that Harry doesn't fall into that 
catagory. He can hold his own, and very much does have 
his situation in perspective.

Just a few thought on an unresolvable subject.

Steve/bboyminn