[HPforGrownups] Re: Toons, Petunia, and the Horrible Vase

[CK Campbell]

No: HPFGUIDX 175337

I believe that Petunia is very conflicted about Lily.  As the older sister,
she is stricken when her younger, (to her eyes) prettier,
better-loved-by-parents, smarter, and *magical* sister gets to do something
she can never do.  She loves her; she is jealous.  I've been there.

I can understand why Petunia sends her sister gifts -- and I firmly believe
that Petunia believes she has wonderful taste and that her sister will
appreciate the gifts.  These are not used tissues she is sending.

But like many sisters, they have different tastes.  My own sister prefers
warm, western colors, for instance, while I prefer old-fashioned, dusty
kinds of colors.  We don't really know what Lily's taste is, but it appears
to have been shaped by her time at school (and don't most of us find that
our taste is shaped there, by our environment, and our friends?) and to have
diverged from her sister's.

I don't see any harm in her comment about the horrible vase.  This letter is
a bond between Lily and Sirius, and you can imagine them teasing and
laughing with one another about their families.  I did the same with my
husband's best friend.  I imagine Petunia would have been mortified to learn
about this letter, but it was never intended for her eyes, and I don't think
Lily would have said anything like that to Petunia's face.

Yes, Petunia treated Harry abysmally.  Shame on her.  But we can see, in DH,
the source of Petunia's bitterness and envy.  And no doubt, her husband
supported her bitterness (I've noticed this -- perhaps you have with your
spouses -- that my husband seems to feel more anger toward my family when
they "do me wrong" than I do, and I feel resentment when he says so, after
all, they're *my* family, and it should be *my* right to complain and no one
else's).  Harry is a constant reminder of what her sister was able to do
that she was not, no matter how she tried.  It must have been very painful
for her to have him there, as a reminder of her beloved yet estranged little
sister, that sister's death, and her own unhappy childhood.

Carolyn