[HPforGrownups] Harry does cry Re: Of Sorting and Snape

[Sherry Gomes]

No: HPFGUIDX 175739

houyhnhnm:

That's a good point that Harry's inability to *allow* himself to cry may be
a result of psychological damage suffered at the hands of the Dursleys.
It's not that he doesn't feel sorrow strongly enough to bring tears.  He
does.  But he seems to feel the need to repress it.

It's not how the passages affected me the first time I read them, though.
Long before I ever started reading discussions on web sites, back when it
just me and the text, the negative message about showing your feelings
jumped out at me.  I figured it was a Brit thing.



Sherry:
I always found Harry's silent tearless grief more moving than crying every
time would have been.  It made the times when he does cry even more
powerful.  But, that's my way of dealing with pain as well.  I was not
abused into not crying.  But I come from a family who keeps their pain and
sorrow and anger very much to themselves.  I also had a painful disease from
birth that taught me not to give into pain and other negative emotions.  In
high school, a stepmother told me that people like me when I'm happy and
don't like me when I'm not, so I added that to my never show negative
emotions thing.  So, I could always relate personally to Harry's manner of
reacting to loss and grief, except that I don't lose my temper instead.
Particularly in the case of his reactions to Sirius death in HBP, I ached
over his grief that wasn't allowed to show itself in tears, as it's very
much what I showed to the world after my father's death ten years ago.  If
you didn't know me, you might think I didn't react much at all, but you'd be
very wrong. 

It could also be a boy thing.  Supposedly, the world is changing and it's ok
for boys to cry these days, but I don't know many young boys, particularly
teenage ones, who would want to be seen crying.  Can you imagine how Uncle
Vernon would have reacted to Harry crying?  Even though Dudley found fake
tears got him his way with his parents, I bet Harry received some horrible
physical and emotional abuse for crying around them.  I can hear Uncle
Vernon now saying something along the lines of:  "Stop that noise or I'll
give you something to cry about!"

So, for me, Harry's lack of tears really worked and seemed absolutely
believable, probably making him more realistic to me and more vulnerable to
me.

Sherry