Laughing All the Way to the Bank

[Zara]

No: HPFGUIDX 176022


> Christy:
> I can't think of any other Snape one-liner and to see this in the 
midst of his often tragic backstory and in the midst of this very 
heavy conversation, complete with comedic timing -- I loved it!

zgirnius:
As a longtime admirer of Snape, I resemble that remark! <g> He has 
some of the great funny lines in the series. Among my favorites...

CoS:
"Maybe he's ill!" said Ron hopefully.

"Maybe he's left," said Harry, "because he missed out on the Defense 
Against Dark Arts job again!"

"Or he might have been sacked!" said Ron enthusiastically. "I mean,
everyone hates him -"

"Or maybe," said a very cold voice right behind them, "he's waiting 
to hear why you two didn't arrive on the school train."

-AND-

"Just the man," he said. "The very man. A girl has been snatched by 
the monster, Lockhart. Taken into the Chamber of Secrets itself. Your 
moment has come at last."

Lockhart blanched.

PoA:
"What would your head have been doing in Hogsmeade, Potter?" said 
Snape softly. "Your head is not allowed in Hogsmeade. No part of your 
body has permission to be in Hogsmeade."

OotP:

'You applied first for the Defence Against the Dark Arts post, I 
believe?' Professor Umbridge asked Snape.

'Yes,' said Snape quietly.

'But you were unsuccessful?'

Snape's lip curled.

'Obviously'

-AND-

'You can make some more, can't you?' she said, her voice becoming 
more sweetly girlish as it always did when she was furious.

'Certainly,' said Snape, his lip curling. 'It takes a full moon-cycle 
to mature, so I should have it ready for you in around a month.'

-AND-

"Unless you wish to poison Potter -and I assure you I would have the 
greattest sympathy with you if you did - I cannot help you."

-AND-

'And Crabbe, loosen your hold a little. If Longbottom suffocates it 
will mean a lot of tedious paperwork and I am afraid I shall have to 
mention it on your reference if ever you apply for a job.'

HBP:
"He'd have me!" said Bellatrix passionately. "I, who sent many years 
in Azkaban for him!"

"Yes indeed, most admirable," said Snape in a bored voice. "Of 
course, you weren't a lot of use to him in prison, but the gesture 
was undoubtedly fine-"

-AND-

"He calls me his most loyal, his most faithful-"

"Does he? Does he *still*"
-AND-

"You speak of dangers - you were facing six teenagers, were you not?"

-AND-

"Funny, I never had the impression I managed to teach Potter anything 
at all."

zgirnius, who was in need of a reason to smile about Snape, which 
writing this post supplied.