Ministry of Magic - Annual St. Mungos Message

[Mike]

No: HPFGUIDX 180063

Season's Greetings to all Witches and Wizards. We at the Ministry 
would like to apologize for the tardiness of this message. Things 
have been a little hectic at the Minstry, what with trying to put 
everything back to rights after our little, shall we call it a 
governmental shake-up of this past year. Lots of the older files 
and procedures were lost, forcing us to revert to institutional 
knowledge. <Geez, that Umbridge made a mess of things. Finally did 
put her out with her cat litter.>

Somebody finally remembered the St. Mungos annual refresher. So, 
without further ado, I give you Assistant Healer Sticatta Tongue and 
our annual refresher.

Kingsley Shacklebolt
Interim Minister of Magic

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Hi all, I'm Sticatta Tongue <and you had better not> of St. Mungos. 
My colleague, Lukinda Mouth, told me what things she covered with you 
last year, 
<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPforGrownups/message/163130>
so I'll try to not go over those again.


OK, first off, we've had a lot of owls from parents about their kids 
being transformed into canaries. We can't remember when we've ever 
had such a rash of a specific type of transfiguration. <Lukinda 
mumbled something about Canary Creams then walked away giggling. I'm 
sure I don't know what that was about?!> They do seem to sort 
themselves out rather quickly though. All we can suggest is that 
parents check what their children brought home from Hogwarts. You 
just never know what they will get up to at school.


This next one might be a bit touchy, but here goes. Ahem, the 
curriculum changed somewhat last year at Hogwarts. As you all know, 
that situation has reversed itself now, much to our relief. However, 
we cannot unlearn some of the things that were taught. <Well,... we 
can, but the Ministry won't let us.> So we are asking all the parents 
to explain to their little darlings that the Crutiatus Curse is not 
the proper way to settle a dispute over who gets the last Treacle 
Tart. Honestly, where do they get these ideas?


Along those lines, we've had a fair few people show up at St. Mungos 
afflicted with the Bat-bogey Hex. At first, Lukinda got a good laugh 
at this, telling me that it was one of her favorites in her time at 
Hogwarts. She even knew the counter-curse. But lately, she's become 
rather annoyed, saying things like, "enough is enough" and "doesn't 
that girl have any originality". Recently I heard her say "I don't 
care who she's snogging, I'll show her a thing or two." I really 
don't know if this is personal between Lukinda and this mystery girl, 
but if anyone can enlighten me as to who this Bat-bogey perpetrator 
is, it would be greatly appreciated.


Lastly, clearing up some confusion here about Ditany's healing 
qualitites. Some were under the impression that it's effects were 
only superficial. I had Professor Slughorn for potions when I went to 
Hogwarts, he taught us the many qualities of Ditany. Lukinda had 
Professor Snape, but she tells me that Ditany was taught by him also. 
<don't know why she added, "amongst other things", but there you are> 
Ditany can close wounds making it handy to have around, especially if 
you have garden gnomes like I do. Little blighters will take a nip 
out of you. And I have no idea who started the rumor that gnome 
bites are lucky, but that's just plain wrong. The only time luck and 
gnomes belong in the same sentence is if you're betting at the gnome 
tossing competition. <George Weasley won last year and I won 20 
Galleons on him.>


OK, that about wraps it up for this year. "St. Mungos appreciates 
your full involvement in the Healing Arts. Everyone has an inner 
Healer, it's up to you to make it blossom".

<Oh, I do love that motto.... What Lukinda? Stop putting your finger 
in your mouth like that. That motto is nice.>
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Mike, who wonders if Sticatta got all her books hidden from her at 
Hogwarts too ;)