Bathroom scene- A different outcome

[va32h]

No: HPFGUIDX 165177

Eggplant wrote

> It sound to me that your husband must be a very very very brave man, a
> man who has absolutely positively NOTHING to feel guilty about. In
> fact the exact opposite is true, he has much to be proud of! The fact
> that you are still married to the man makes me think you would agree
> with me on this point. If nevertheless he tortures himself with guilt
> then it follows logically that he must have judged himself
> incorrectly, he has made the same error that Harry did. And yes, if
> you kill an extraordinarily evil man I conclude that the appropriate
> emotion to have is  pride, and obviously anything that action packed
> is bound to be a thrill, it goes with the territory. 
> 
> No kidding, I admire the hell out of your husband!  

va32h responds:

Thank you - and I do mean that sincerely - but I honestly feel that if 
you had a first hand view of the situation, you would feel differently. 
Killing is against our human nature - to make this on topic, I'll point 
out that Slughorn says this to Tom Riddle, who doesn't care, because 
Riddle is a sociopath. Only sociopaths - people with no conscience or 
empathy whatsoever - can kill without a speck of remorse.  

Part of war strategy is dehumanizing the enemy - which we must do in 
order to get over that natural instinct to preserve, not destroy, human 
life. 

In his own way, Harry has dehumanized the Death Eaters - Sirius tells 
him way back in GoF that the world is not divided into good people and 
DEs, but realizing that "the bad guys are people too" is a lesson Harry 
is still learning in HBP. Harry hated Draco, Harry mistrusts Draco, 
Harry is convinced that Draco is aiding the enemy, but at the moment of 
truth, watching Draco's blood pouring out of his body, by Harry's own 
hand, Harry cannot escape the reality that this is a person. A human 
being. 

My husband has shot at people whose fate he never uncovered - recovery 
of the scene and the bodies was someone else's job. But the one 
incident for which he feels the most pain and regret came at a routine 
checkpoint. A vehicle did not stop at the checkpoint, but a few feet 
past. The occupants were ordered out of the vehicle. The driver got out 
of the van, and walked toward my husband, who shouted at him to stop. 
The man did not stop, and my husband - in his own words - "blew a hole 
into his chest the size of a dinner plate." What my husband remembers 
is the look of shock on the faces of everyone around him. That the 
street seemed suddenly full of local Iraqis. They were staring at him, 
terrified. In their faces, he says, he could see the fear and outrage. 
They were supposed to be the enemy? They were supposed to be the 
terrorists? There he was, an American soldier, the liberator, the "good 
guy", standing over the body of an unarmed civilian, shot dead in the 
street. 

My husband does not consider himself particularly brave. On the first 
tour, he was naive, then terrified. The second time, scared, but 
resolved. This time - quietly determined to get it over with. Which is 
very much how I see Harry moving through his journey and realization of 
what must be done to get rid of Voldemort. 

War and evil are grim realities. Eradicating them are grim 
responsibilites. Killing - no matter how noble the cause for which one 
is doing the killing (and I am speaking of Harry's cause here) is 
nothing to be thrilled and proud about. It is an ugly, dirty, messy 
business. 

Of course I am proud of my husband - but far more proud he is able to 
feel pain for his actions, than the actions themselves. 

va32h