FILK: It Appears I Have Been Tapped, Then

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 165305

It Appears I Have Been Tapped, Then

To the tune of Rising Early in the Morning, from Gilbert and 
Sullivan's The Gondoliers (this is a patter song, in the mode of the 
famed Penzance Major-General)

Here is a MIDI:

http://math.boisestate.edu/gas/gondoliers/web_opera/gond12.html 

THE SCENE: Harry's debut as the Captain of the GQT

HARRY:
It appears I have been tapped, then, 
Once Ms. Johnson did retire
As the brand-new Quidditch Captain,
To exhort and to inspire. 
For `tis the Captain's path
Lets me in the Prefects' bath
. 

First, I make some formal notice
I have written to promote us 
That announces when our tryouts should occur. 
Then, I hear a plea from Katie
Which is solemn, strong and weighty, 
"By default do not let last year's team recur." 
Next I move so to reserve the Quidditch pitch
So we have a place to practice with the Snitch 
For it is my duty to evaluate 
Ev'ry Gryffindoran Quidditch candidate.
Then I chase away a loopy 
Squad of Hufflepuff girl groupies,
Well as giggling Ravenclaw gals who arrive here by the ton. 
(Here's the scoop I got from Hermy,
As she hastens to assure me 
That the fangirls have come flocking to gawk at the Chosen One). 
Then the trials start in earnest,
My expression at its sternest,
Till I motion to dismiss them and remove them from my sight 
All the fangirls stay to titter 
As the broomsticks crash and flitter 
Bringing down the feeble Firsties who can barely stay in flight.

Angelina may complain
Mr. Wood display some strain 
But the leadership of Quidditch is a positive delight 
But it's slightly aggravating
When I'm forced to start berating
And dismiss the feeble Firsties who can barely stay in flight

Angelina may complain
Mr. Wood display some strain 
But the leadership of Quidditch is a positive delight 
But it's slightly aggravating
When I'm forced to start berating
And dismiss the feeble Firsties who can barely stay in flight

In the tryouts for the Chasers
Ginny lets no one displace her,
Katie Bell and Ms. Demelza do the same 
Then I designate the Beaters,
Jimmy Peakes flies like a meteor, 
And though Coote looks weedy, he has skilful aim. 
Then the candidates for Keeper I inspect 
And my old pal Ron is quite the nervous wreck 
The crowd I thought by now would have dispersed 
But its mockery and size get worse and worse 
Ron is up against a sore hack
Going by the name of Cormac 
He's a boasting braggadocio with a shoulder for his chip
But his try is not so great, he
Scores a percentage of eighty 
And he shows himself quite lacking in agility and zip.
Ron's triumphant in his tryout 
Let Cormac in his rage fly out,
For he does not dare to cross me or my line drawn in the sand. 
Though with joy Ron's face is flushing 
I observe that Hermy's blushing
Over using a Confundus Charm to lend a helping hand.
 
Oh, Angelina may complain
Mr. Wood display some strain 
But the leadership of Quidditch put me firmly in command
But I cannot understand it
When Hermione's underhanded
In employing a Confundus Charm to lend a helping hand.

   -	CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm