DH rant

[Neri]

No: HPFGUIDX 172626

I need to let out some steam quickly. I was preparing myself for some
disappointment, but not that much disappointment. As the end of the
series, DH sucks big. I don't even know where to start. 

Snape and Harry don't interact in DH at all, not before Harry
discovers the truth and not after. That meeting between them that
we've all been waiting for, it never happens. So long for "the
relationship between Harry and Snape is the most important in the
series", I guess. Even worse, when Harry finally learns the truth
about Snape and about his mother (the big surprise every Potter fan
has been speculating about since the first or second book) Harry
doesn't care. He doesn't even *think* about it at all, because he has
also just discovered about being a Horcrux and going to die, which of
course takes precedence. So we are robbed even of the Harry's
"Noooooo!!!" moment that was always supposed to be the main Bang value
of LOLLIPOPS. What a plop. 

In fact, Snape doesn't do much in DH at all except getting sacked and
getting killed. He sends the sword to Harry but that was merely
following a direct order from that horrible Dumbledore portrait thing
(more about that below). Oh yes, and he gets to cut off George's ear.
By accident. Even worse, we find that Snape's character hasn't
developed at all since the first chapter of the first book. No big
insights about himself or about Harry. Even after he learns from
Dumbledore that Harry is intended as a sacrifice, he doesn't change
his attitude one bit. No change we get to see after killing
Dumbledore. No saving Harry's life or another big redemption moment in
DH. In short, Snape's character arc ends with nothing. He doesn't even
die fighting like Sirius. He isn't killed because he was DDM or
something. Heck, Voldemort never even learns before he dies that Snape
wasn't his man after all. 

Well, you might say I'm just disappointed because I predicted that
DDM!Snape and LOLLIPOPS won't happen. So lets move to something I did
predict correctly: Harry has indeed become a Horcrux in GH, exactly
the way I described it. But the way JKR handled Harrycrux was, to me,
an even bigger disappointment than the way she handled Snape. Being a
Horcrux was merely a plot device. There was no interaction at all
between Harry and the soul part, the kind of interaction with
Diary!Riddle that makes the climax of CoS so great. Even Ron had more
interaction with the locket Horcrux than Harry had with the Horcrux he
was living with for 16 years, the Horcrux from which all his
mysterious powers were supposed to come. What a plop.

And did anybody understand how Voldemort using Harry's blood changed
anything in this? Because I didn't. Dumbledore's "explanation" was no
better than any HPfGU newbie post explaining The Gleam during the last
five years. The same goes for the explanation of "either must die at
the hand of the other".  Actually Harry didn't die at Voldemort's hand
and Voldemort didn't die at Harry's hands. After we have all spent
years analyzing these words. And what about an explanation for "in
essence divided"? Or did I miss that? Gee, if you have a Harrycrux
that is a mere plot device, then at least get the plot to make sense. 

Also, Harry learns about being a Horcrux only at the last moment and
only from Dumbledore's words, instead of coming to this realization
himself. He never even suspects it before. Just another of those "how
can he be so blind???" Harry moments, and in the very last book. Heck,
even *Hermione* never suspects it, after reading to us about the
"unstable soul" from the Horcruxes book, and knowing all about Harry's
connection with Voldemort and his mysterious powers. The powers we've
been speculating about since CoS, and are still mysterious after the
end of DH. What was that golden light, anyway? I guess we'll never
find out, unless JKR explains it in an interview. So Harry has been
running around with these great powers throughout the whole series,
and he never uses them accept one time by accident. Another plop.
Instead JKR introduces the Elder Wand in the last book, another
contrived plot device that is completely redundant because Harry has
the powers to fight Voldemort within himself. And the whole unstable
soul thing is another wasted plot device because Voldemort having his
soul in eight parts rather than seven never plays out. 

The worse of all: Dumbledore was running the show in DH, throwing
clues to the trio and ordering Snape through the portrait. We had a
character that was nominally "dead", yet living for all practical plot
purposes, and after JKR told us that portraits aren't the real thing,
and that she killed Dumbledore so that Harry can finally do the job
himself. I can't even criticize JKR regarding the moral issue of
ordering somebody to kill you, since Dumbledore certainly wasn't dead
in DH. So the whole plot became an artificial game. You have to wonder
why couldn't Dumbledore simply give Harry another portrait of himself?
Then he could order the trio around too, as well as connecting them
with Snape. But of course, that would have given out the game too
soon. The problem with a puppet master running the show is that we are
left with a hero that is a puppet (the same goes for Snape, who is an
even more of a puppet than Harry in DH). Perhaps the most artificial
part in this game comes when Harry finally arrives at the headmaster
office with Snape's memories, and just then Dumbledore is suddenly
*absent* from his portrait, so that he doesn't have to tell Harry
about being a Horcrux face to face. He doesn't even leave a note on
the refrigerator: "Gone to watch the battle below. Hope Snape
remembered to tell you it's your turn to sacrifice your life. Good
luck! Oh, did I mention that if you had someone take your portrait you
can keep on living as a character even after your death? Well, if I
didn't it's too late now. Bye". Which makes the final talk with
Dumbledore in the King Cross chapter another plop, instead of a
climax, because by then it's like: Oh, so he's finally decided to show
up in person. How charming. 

Not that DH is such a bad book in itself. There are parts that are
quite good. The idea to show us a Hogwarts under the DEs regime was
awesome, although we saw far too little of it. The "Seven Potters"
chapter was possibly the best action sequence in the series. The
Battle on Hogwarts was generally great (except for several incredibly
cheesy moments). It is just that as the end of the series we've all
waited for, DH sucks big.


Neri, member of the I Hate Hallows Even More Than I Hate Horcruxes
Association