[HPforGrownups] a Lupin Rant

[Lynn]

No: HPFGUIDX 173513

Sherry Gomes <sherriola at gmail.com> wrote:
   
  I was disgusted with Lupin in the scene of the argument with Harry. 
   
   
  Lynn:
   
  There were also a number of other opinions as well but they pretty much meant the same thing.
   
  I see Lupin completely different in this scene.  First, I see Lupin not as disabled but as an undesireable being hunted, much like those in Nazi Germany were hunted for whatever the Reich said was undesireable.  Just as I saw the Muggleborns in the role of the Jews by having to prove their blood line, so too were other peoples persecuted, hunted and destroyed all because they had been villified by the government.  Add people's own ignorance and a person such as Lupin can be put in an untenable position.
   
  However, he's been through that before so why is it so different this time?  There are a number of reasons IMO.  First, we have Lupin's loss.  Harry's loss is the focus but we need to remember that Lupin has lost so much as well.  He lost James, Lily and Sirius only to get Sirius back and lose him again.  That is probably why we see Lupin in the scene in the forest younger and happier with the people who loved and accepted him.    Then, the one person who showed faith in him, Dumbledore, is now dead.  IMO, it was this death that prompted Lupin to behave rashly and marry Tonks, not that he didn't love her, I believe he did.  I don't think he would have been encouraged to marry her if others didn't believe he loved her.  I think it was a moment of weakness, that fear of being completely alone that caused him to override his concerns about how that marriage would affect Tonks.  She was an Auror but was she allowed to keep that position since she married Lupin?  We don't know
 that she was.  And, even if she was, how did her being the breadwinner affect him?  It's not an easy thing for a partner to feel that they are not properly contributing to various aspects of the relationship.
   
  Contrast this to Lupin's words that even Tonk's family doesn't accept him.  How many people can related to this?  How many people have had in-laws that will denigrate them at every opportunity?  Add the pregnancy and I wouldn't be suprised to find that Lupin went to Harry and Co. right after having been in a confrontation with those same in-laws who probably told him that Tonks and the baby would be better off without him.  I also find it interesting that there are those who still think birth control is 100% reliable.  It's not and accidents do happen.  There's only one sure way of not getting pregnant that I know of.
   
  The war is not going well.  What may have, at one point, seemed promising, now seems impossible.  I wonder how many parents have wished they didn't bring a child into the world due to various world events or even birth defects, etc.  To so harshly criticize someone for expressing those fears and doubts are, IMO, intolerant.  In this, I see Lupin as expressing the sentiments many parents have felt in similar situations and the reactions expressed is one reason why parents don't publically express it but instead hold it in and it damages them emotionally.  For some reason, it appears parents are supposed to be superhuman and not show weakness.  Yet, I have found that it is as a parent that I most question myself and my actions.  What I would not have given a second thought to before now becomes a major decision simply because of the responsibility of this young life and how my decisions will affect it.
   
  Next, I think Lupin is very depressed rather that feeling sorry for himself or in the throes of self-pity and, unless you've been through a serious depression, there is no way to understand how easy it is to rationalize what would appear irrational to others.  In this state, it is quite easy to take negative things on board as you are feeling so negative about yourself.  The words JKR uses in describing what Lupin says hints to me of someone trying to cut off their feelings, to not feel, to wall off emotion.  I have not doubt, that if I'm right in this, Lupin probably felt that Tonks and the baby would be better off if he were dead.  That he could die in the defense of James' son and possibly a new world order for his son would appear to be the perfect way out.  Does it make sense?  Maybe not to some but it could make perfect sense to someone feeling so depressed or who has figuratively walked in his shoes.
   
  So why does Lupin attack Harry?  That's simple, Harry has expressed how Lupin feels about himself and that inner rage sparks outward.  Harry is motivated in his words at knowing what Teddy would feel in losing his father and therefore harsh in how he expresses himself.  Still, to hear so baldly what Lupin may have been feeling about himself could prompt the rage that would cause him to attack Harry.   Lupin needed to hear what Harry had to say, just not in the way Harry said it though Harry has the excuse of being too young to appreciate or understand what Lupin may be going through.  Then again, I don't see where something like depression would be acceptable in the WW but would be treated in an intolerant matter.
   
  Lynn
  who, now that she thinks about it, finds it highly hypocritical of Snape to have jeered at Tonks over her pining over Lupin after seeing her Patronus given what his own Patronus was.
  


       
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