T-BAY: Plot Hole Filler

[Mike]

No: HPFGUIDX 177749


Mike was walking with Faith down Wavering Lane. It ran right next to 
the water, therefore offering a clear view of Theory Bay.

Faith pointed out into the Bay, "Doesn't she look spendid out there!"
Mike, looking where Faith was pointing, "Who do you mean?"

"Tabouli. Doesn't she look proud on the good SHIP LOLLIPOPS? You'd 
think she was a Captain in the Royal Navy."

"That's the LOLLIPOPS?! When did they get three masts?

"Oh, they got an upgrade after the last canon." Faith lowered her 
voice, "I heard they scavanged a lot off of those other abandoned 
SHIPS. Tabouli insists they used new Can(n)ons, but, well... Did you 
see CUPID'S BLUDGER?^1 It ran aground years ago, but all of a sudden 
all of the 'Snape Loved' hardware is gone from it's frame."

"No! Tabouli wouldn't *do* that! ... Though... she was known for 
combining her answers to multiple posts into one message..."
Faith gave Mike a knowing look, but said nothing.
"Well, even if she did borrow, the SHIP looks magnificent"

As they walked on, Faith asked, "Where are we going?"
"I had to pick up something for George," Mike shook a shopping bag he 
was carrying. "George is working on the Canon Cottage."
Faith looked askance, "What is he trying to do now?"

Canon Cottage had just been topped out with it's 7th and final floor. 
It had suffered a work stoppage between the 4th and 5th floors, and 
when the contractor/author finally renegotiated her contract and 
resumed construction, it seems the blueprints had all been changed. 
The Cottage now resembled the Burrow, the last three floors didn't 
look supported by the previous four. Lot's of people said they were 
held in place by magic/shesezso.

Mike answered, "George said the final three floors have too many Plot 
Holes. He's determined to fix them before the Encyclopedia comes out. 
That's *if* the Encyclopedia comes out! I'm not sure the 
contractor/author intends to wrap up this work?!"

Faith is shaking her head, "I keep telling George those are intended 
openings. Why won't he believe that they comply with the blueprints?"

"You know George, ever since he found out Snape didn't gradually come 
to the realizition that Voldemort wasn't who he purported to be, he's 
been on this 'must fix up the Cottage' kick."

"What did you bring him?" Faith was looking skeptically at Mike's 
shopping bag.

"I'll show you when we get there"

As Faith and Mike approached the Cottage, they could see George 
hanging out one of the upper floor windows. He was muttering to 
himself; every so often they could make out "Thestrals.." 
or "Regulus..." mixed in with the occasional curse word.
Geoge caught sight of the duo and shouted out, "Did you get it?"

Mike shook the bag, "Right here, George."

In no time, George was holding the front door open and beckoning 
Faith and Mike to enter. "Take it out, let me see it."

Mike pulled out a silver spindly looking object that had what 
appeared to be a measuring device on one side and some kind of 
printing device on the other side.

George looked crestfallen, "That's it? That's the Plot Hole Filler? 
How the hell is that thing suppose to work?"

Faith looked scandalized, "George!! There's no need for that 
language."

George paid her no attention, "Did they tell you how to use it? Where 
am I suppose to stick it?"

Mike bit back the retort he was thinking. "You just put it over the 
plot hole, and it does the rest. Look George, I didn't make the 
thing. I just picked it up, on your instructions, I might add."

Faith, sensing an argument, interjected, "Let's just try it out, 
shall we? Where do you want to start, George?"

"OK, let's do. I have lot's of them up on the seventh floor. We'll 
start with something small."

After climbing the stairs, George stood over a small hole in the 
floor. "This one is called 'Thestrals grazing'. I wasn't going to 
bother with it, it being so small. Let's see if that ... thing, can 
fill it."

Mike set the PHF on the hole. The measuring arms immediately went to 
work, the whole thing was humming and rattling about. Finally, with 
the printer side over the hole, the PHF printed out something that 
covered the hole. Mike lifted the PHF out of the way and they all 
looked down to see what the PHF had filled the hole with.

"Mice?", said George. "It filled it with mice? What does that mean?"

"I think it means that the Thestrals were eating mice in the 
Weasley's garden." Mike offered.

"The Weasley's have mice plants?" George looked confused.

"No, George." Faith said. "I think it means that the Weasleys do have 
a lot of varmints running around. That's what the Thestrals were 
eating, not grazing on grass, grazing on the abundance of mice."

"Will that hold up?" George asked to noone in particular.

"We'll see, I suppose," Mike answered, "Better than the hole, isn't 
it?"

George seemed unconvinced. Nonetheless, he headed over to a larger 
hole in the wall. This one didn't go all the way through, and the 
surrounding wall was well made, making the hole more prominent. Yet 
one wasn't sure that the hole wasn't intentional.

George pointed to it and intoned, "This one is 'Regulus knowing about 
the cave Horcrux'. See, we know how Regulus knew about the cave from 
Kreacher. But where and how did he learn it was a Horcrux that 
Voldemort put in the basin? Oh yeah, look deeper. See that other 
opening, that one's 'Who refilled the basin the second time with 
green goo?' OK, let's see what the PHF can do with this."

Mike pushed the PHF into the hole and it went to work. It finished 
filling the first hole and Mike snatched it out before it started on 
the second. He looked in and read out loud, "Self-filling Basin"

Faith looked pleased. "Of course! The basin was always self-filling. 
Voldemort wouldn't trust it and sped up the process after Kreacher 
drank it. But it would have re-filled itself and did so after Regulus 
drank the stuff."

George seemed satisfied so far. "OK, that's not a bad plug. Stick it 
back in, let's see what it does for the rest."

Mike couldn't help but sense that George may be changing his opinion. 
He replaced the PHF over the hole. This time it took much longer, but 
finally it spit something out. This patch jobbed looked rather patchy.

This time George read, "Slughorn and the Black Library... What?"

Mike thought for a moment then said, "I think I understand. Regulus 
was in Slughorn's House, he was the Seeker on the Slytherin Quidditch 
team. He was probably smart enough, and being a Black, was probably 
in the Slug Club."

"What if Reggie was bound and determined to discover what Voldemort 
had hidden away, what was so important for him to go through such an 
elaborate scheme. He was obviously determined to get revenge on 
Voldemort for trying to kill Kreacher. So he finds the name Horcrux 
in one of his family's library books. He asks Slughorn in the same 
way that Tom Riddle asked, except he wanted to know what a Horcrux 
was, what was their purpose, not how one makes them."

Faith interrupts, "Yes, of course, Regulus found out about Horcruxes 
in the same way Riddle found out. Naturally, he would assume that a 
Horcrux was the thing that was hidden in the cave."

George looked from Faith to Mike. "Where did you come up with that 
crap? You've got some warped ideas."

This time, Faith looked furious. "GEORGE!! We never criticize the 
patrons. If you don't like the theory, tell us why. And you had 
better back up your reasoning. But we never, EVER criticize the 
theory proposer. Got that?!

George looked quite sheepish. "Yes ma'am. I'm sorry." He said the 
last to Mike.

"That's okay, George. I've been called worse. Listen, I've got to get 
going. I'll leave the Plot Hole Filler with you. It doesn't have to 
be returned for a week. If you don't want to use it, offer it to the 
other listees. Maybe they'll want to try it out."

George extended his hand, which Mike took. They shook hands. George 
said, "Thanks, I'll see what this thing can do. And I think I will 
offer it to the other list members, see if they can make it work any 
better."

Mike winked at Faith, "Keep the faith, Faith."

"Always." she then whispered, "Thanks for giving George something to 
keep him busy." 

Faith winked back as Mike headed for the stairs and left the Cottage.


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^1. http://hpfgu.org.uk/faq/hypotheticalley.html#bludger

The rest of the commentary was from HBP and DH. But you all knew that.
;-)

Mike