[HPforGrownups] Re: Lupin and Tonks WAS: I am so happy. There is a gay - Triumph & Tragedy

[Katty Geltmeyer]

No: HPFGUIDX 178256

SSSusan wrote: " ... I don't think it 
was unrequited love at all on Tonks's
part.  I think Lupin just felt he could 
be nothing other than a burden or an
embarrassment to Tonks and any offspring 
they might have, and he ran from the love 
he felt for her for that reason for a
very long time.

Just one woman's view. :)"


Katty: It's my point of view too. Here 
are the notes I made about Lupin:
Lupin was wrestling his whole life with 
the lycantropy as every person with a 
handicap does.

You can never accept the handicap, you 
have to learn how to deal/come to terms 
with/digest with it. Lupin thought, e.g. 
his future child would be ashamed of 
having "a father like him", he was aware 
Tonks was an outcast since she married 
him (cf. DH1, Voldemort's humiliation of 
Bellatrix and what he said about Tonks). 
He was used to hear he couldn't do that 
job (often dismissed when applying for a 
job), he wasn't a respected member of 
society ... If this is repeating all the 
time the handicaped person will resign, 
give up his fathership, ..., and so, he 
slowly loses his identity, becoming "the 
werewolf" and nothing more.

This negative way of thinking can only 
be reversed by the help of others, 
giving the handicaped person chances to 
prove himself, to use his own talents, 
to show who he is, and making the stigma 
of the handicap less pronounced.
When Harry told Lupin "you only have a 
problem" he didn't minamize or 
ridicule Lupin's handicap, but he gave 
it the proportions the lycantropy 
deserves. The only real "problem" for 
the handicaped person is, they are so 
often told they have an handicap, that 
at last they only can see their 
handicap. They hardly see they have 
qualities, talents, a personality, ...
By giving him a job, Dumbledore offered 
Lupin a status, a chance to prove 
himself and to regain self-confidence.
During the discussion with Harry (DH11), 
Lupin got the stimulus to face and deal 
with his status of father and married 
man, ... This hard way of teaching is 
sometimes necessary to change an 
attitude.

So, SSSusan I agree with you.