Lupin in "The Forest Again" (was:I am so happy. There is a gay couple )

[Carol]

No: HPFGUIDX 178306

Susan McGee wrote:
<snip>
> ....As for those who argue that Lupin was in fact another gay man, I 
> think I agree. His greatest joy seemed to come from his son. Now I
AM wondering why he showed up with Sirius in the afterlife. I
understand why Harry's parents and Sirius showed up, they were the
three adults who were closest to him, but was he that close to Lupin?

Carol responds:

I don't see how a man's joy in his newborn son (who could easily have
been a daughter except that JKR apparently wanted him to parallel
Harry) counts as evidence that he's homosexual. I saw it as evidence
that he had settled down to the role of happy family man and proud father.

That aside, you're asking an interesting question here. Why *does*
Lupin show up, along with Harry's parents and godfather, since he
really doesn't qualify as a loved one? (*JKR* wants him there as a
substitute for Arthur Weasley, who was originally intended to die in
OoP, but that doesn't explain why *Harry* wants him.) Sure, Lupin was
one of Harry's favorite teachers, if not his all-time favorite, and
they had private lessons together (as Harry also did in later books
with both Snape and DD), but we don't see him at all in GoF and, in
the later books, he's not particularly close to Harry. In DH, they
argue more than they agree, and, in one of my favorite moments, Harry
tells Lupin off for being a coward (leading to his decision to behave
like a responsible husband and return to his pregnant wife). 

Possibly, he's included in the group because Harry likes having the
good Marauders (and his mother) reunited, but that's a pretty pathetic
reason for Harry to wish for his company as he walks to what he thinks
will be his death. Maybe he wants a substitute for Dumbledore, the
mentor he believes has "betrayed" him, and his old DADA teacher, the
man who taught him to cast a Patronus, is a good substitute. But I
think that Harry is also feeling guilty that people have died because
of him, and he's especially unhappy about Lupin's death because the
last time he saw him, they quarrelled. (It reminds me of Molly
worrying that the Twins would die without having a chance to make up
with her.) 

As he listens to Lupin on Pottercast talking about Harry as "a symbol
of everything for which we are fighting," Harry feels " a mixture of
gratitude and shame" and wonders whether Lupin has forgiven him "for
the terrible things he had said when they had last met" (DH Am. ed.
441). It's pretty clear to me that Lupin has not only forgiven him but
realized that the "terrible things" were actually sound advice, but
Harry apparently remains in some doubt even after Lupin names him as
godfather to his son a few months later.

And then Lupin dies fighting for Harry in the battle that gives him
and his friends time to find one Horcrux and destroy two. Glimpsing
the bodies of Tonks and Lupin in the Great Hall immediately after
witnessing Snape's death, Harry can't bear to think how many people
have died for him. Although he blames himself specifically for Fred's
death, he's thinking of Tonks and Lupin, too (662). After Harry's
excursion into Snape's memories, the images of Fred, Tonks, and Lupin
lying dead in the Great Hall appear in his mind and he thinks that he
has failed (693). Then he remembers the Resurrection Stone and
understands that he is not bringing the unspecified "them" back. They
are "fetching him" (698). 

The newly dead Lupin shows up as a natural member of the group, not
that he's deserting Tonks, also newly dead. She simply is not a member
of the group of parental figures that give Harry the courage he needs
to join them (as he thinks). And Harry, blurting out that he didn't
want any of them to die, specifically addresses Lupin with his apology. 

"'. . . I'm sorry--' He addressed Lupin more than any of them,
beseeching him. '--right after you'd had your son. Remus, I'm sorry'"
(700).

"Remus." It's the first and only time that he uses Lupin's first name,
addressing him as a friend and begging his forgiveness. Lupin's
response, that he died trying to make a better world for his son,
seems to give Harry comfort. At least he doesn't pursue the subject.
He exchanges a few words with the other three, seeking comfort of a
different sort ("You'll stay with me?") and then the four walk on with
him silently until he drops the stone and faces Voldemort alone
(except for the Death Eaters and the bound and captive Hagrid).

Why was Lupin there? As a father figure, a friend of his dead father
and godfather, a friend in his own right, at last, once he found the
courage to set aside his self-loathing and be a man and a father. I
think he has proven himself worthy, in Harry's view, to be with his
own parents, who died to save him, and his godfather, who died trying
to protect him. "My father died trying to protect my mother and me,"
Harry tells Lupin at 12 GP, and you reckon he'd tell you to go on an
adventure with us? . . . I'd never have believed this. The man who
taught me to fight dementors--a coward" (214). After Lupin leaves in a
rage worthy of Snape, Harry rells Ron and Hermione, "Parents shouldn't
leave their kids unless--unless they've got to" (215). And Lupin *had*
to leave his child at the end, to fight for a better world for him.

So having Lupin join Lily, James, and Sirius gives him and Harry the
moment of reconciliation and mutual understanding that they didn't get
in life, despite Harry's being made Teddy's godfather, it gives Harry
the chance to apologize directly to one of the people for whose deaths
he feels responsible, and it honors Lupin's courage in giving his life
to make a better world for his son after his too-brief acceptance of
the duties of a father in life. Lupin, like Snape in his very
different way, has redeemed himself and earned a peaceful afterlife.
And the burden of his lycanthropy has passed from him forever.

Carol, who thinks that Harry's unconscious choice to include Lupin
among the loved ones who give him courage makes perfect sense from
Harry's perspective and from Lupin's, assuming that Lupin had any
choice in the matter