[HPforGrownups] Stereotypes- Q & A: (was: Re: I am so happy, There is a gay ...)

[k12listmomma]

No: HPFGUIDX 178400

> bboyminn:
> But here's the thing, JKR didn't just spontaneously burst out with the 
> idea that Dumbledore is gay. She was responding to
> a direct question about Dumbledore's love life. He asked; she answered.
>
> I have a philosophy in life that says, 'don't ask questions you aren't 
> prepared to hear the answer to'.
>
> If people don't want to know about Dumbledore's love life, then they 
> shouldn't ask questions about it, and when they
> get the answer, they shouldn't complain because they don't like the answer 
> they hear.
>
> Seems simple enough to me.
>
> Steve/bboyminn

Shelley:
It seems to me that she took the opportunity to go much further with her 
answer than she could have, and this has been brought up before. The asker 
didn't ask about DD's sexual orientation- he/she asked whether DD had loved. 
Those are two different levels of questions, in my mind. She could have 
answered that truthfully and fully without going into the sexual orientation 
area at all by saying "yes, and it went badly for him". Now, if at a further 
point someone asked the more detailed question- "With WHOM did DD have a 
relationship with?"- that one could have been answered directly with 
"Grindewald" and thus DD's orientation at that moment in time would have 
been revealed. But I dispute your claim that she was merely answering the 
question that was presented to her- she took the liberty to introduce the 
sexual orientation part; she didn't merely answer the question with a "yes" 
when asked if DD had loved anyone. Thus your dig into people who are 
complaining because they heard an answer that they didn't want to hear is a 
little misguided- no one was asking whether DD was straight or gay. I don't 
think people would be so upset with her if that had been the real question 
that was asked of her the night she said this, if the readers themselves had 
come to the conclusion that DD might have been gay, and was merely asking 
for her to clarify. The question about "love" was a much more basic and 
simple one- one that a small child could ask and be answered without 
straying into any adult subjects. She didn't choose to stay with an answer 
that was basic and simple, and that's where we are finding fault with her- 
in the level of detail of the answer that didn't need to be gone into.

I am reminded painfully that there are kids that read this series. When my 
young child asks me how the baby got into my tummy, it's up to me to use 
judgment and wisdom to know the level of detail in which to answer. It's up 
to me to know how much they are ready for, and not to give them more than 
they are really asking. This question was just such a basic, beginner level 
question- did DD love anyone- and Rowling chose to give us much more than we 
really were ready to hear. That is not our fault- we were not asking about 
DD's sexual orientation, any more than most kids who first ask that baby 
question are asking about the details of sexual intercourse. The question 
wasn't a detailed one, it was a basic one. That's what makes this answer so 
shocking and outrageous, imho. I agree that she answered it poorly and 
without thinking of what the consequences would be to her fandom that 
involves kids and people who would be offended by such a revelation.