[HPforGrownups] Re: CHAPDISC: DH3, The Dursleys Departing

[Laura Lynn Walsh]

No: HPFGUIDX 177251


On 2007, Sep 19, , at 17:16, Laura Horowitz wrote:

> Laura wrote:
>> Like Snape, when Petunia looks at Harry, she sees Lily's eyes and
>> James' hair and body type.  I think this reminds her continually of
>> what magic stole from her - a younger sister who looked up to her
>> and loved her.  Magic, Snape, and James stole Lily from her.  And,
>> in some ways, they also took her importance to the family away.
>> As a first born, she assumed she had a special place, then along
>> came Lily, who not only had a special talent, it was a talent their
>> parents appreciated.  She was permanently deposed.
>
> Kneazlecat:
> Are you, by any chance, an oldest child?  *grin*

Actually, no, I am a third (of four).  As a middle child, I have
been the peacekeeper - I try to soothe others' feelings.  But
I am also a teacher and I study kids.  Birth order does seem
to make a difference, especially for firstborns (e.g. more
firstborns and onlys are identified as gifted than seconds
or more).  Dudley is also a firstborn, like Petunia.  Harry came
when Dudley was around a year and a half.  Part of Petunia's
neglect of Harry could have been overcompensating Dudley
for the analogous loss of importance she felt when Lily came
along.  She is bound and determined that Dudley won't feel
like she did.

> Again, you make a
> pont I hadn't thought of.  The surface reading is that Petunia is
> simply jealous of Lily, but yes, the departure of Lily into the
> magical world would have had a powerful effect on the Evans family.
> Whereas the Grangers seemed to take it in stride (but Hermiione had
> no sibs to wory about), the Evanses perhaps didn't handle things as
> equitably as they could have.  It almost makes you feel sorry for
> Petunia.  Almost.

Like Ender in Ender's Game.  Once you get to know your
enemy, you begin to love them.  To have knowledge so deep
of a person and his/her circumstances, you see why they are
who they are and you understand.

>
> Laura wrote:
>> Perhaps there is some unfinished business between them [Harry and
> Petunia], butPetunia has long since squandered the opportunities to
> develop a relationship with Harry.  And, like Voldemort, I think she
> is too full of resentment to go beyond that.  And Harry, who doesn't
> yet understand why she resents him, has given up on her, so he
> can't reach out either.
>
> Kneazlecat:
> I'm not so sure.  Petunia is the only living person who knew Lily
> all of her life, so Harry may indeed want to contact her so he can
> learn more about his mother.  I don't see him having any problem
> doing that, and I bet Petunia would be relieved to talk to someone
> about Lily who would understand the whole magic/Muggle problem.  She
> just might want to meet Harry without Vernon knowing about it.

I just don't see it.  Harry needed a mother throughout his childhood
and he only got one through Molly Weasley.  The knowledge that
Petunia has about Lily is not about the stuff that is important to
Harry.  Harry feels like he only truly BELONGS to the wizarding
world.  If he wants more information about his mother, I think he
would look to other wizards and witches who knew her in her
Hogwarts days.  The Marauders are all dead, but there are still
magical people alive who knew her.

I also don't see it from Petunia's standpoint.  I think she would
feel relieved to have Harry out of her life.  She doesn't want to
relive that part of her life.  I think she would much prefer to just
bury that part of her life.

> Laura wrote:
>> Dudley is a bully.  A bully fears losing.  I think Dudley's worst
>> memories would have been of a time when he felt lost or
>> incompetent at something.  <snip> In fact, his size may be a
>> partial response - if he is big and scary enough, then he won't be
>> vulnerable.
>
> Kneazlecat:
> Maybe the Dursleys were the type of parents who tried to protect
> their child by instilling fear in him-of germs, foreigners,
> strangers, etc. etc. etc.  If so, and it seems very in character,
> that might account for the feeling of vulnerability underlying
> Dudley's bullying.

We know for certain that they tried to instill in Dudley a hate
and fear of everything magical.  We also know that Dudley runs
to Mommy or Daddy whenever Harry threatens to use magic -
even harmless magic.  His fears are confirmed and expanded
when he meets Hagrid and gets a tail.  Harry's powers terrify
Dudley - he can deal with muscle and insults; he is falls apart
when trying to deal with powers that he has been taught to fear
and doesn't understand.

Laura
-- 
Laura Lynn Walsh    lwalsh at acsalaska.net
http://llwcontemplations.blogspot.com



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