Changes I would make

[Steve]

No: HPFGUIDX 177419

---  Laura Lynn Walsh <lwalsh at ...> wrote:
>
> 
> On 2007, Sep 25, , at 13:21, Steve wrote:
> 
> > bboyminn:
> >
> > I think one of the first rules of writing is 'don't
> > use a fancy word when a simple word will do'. Don't
> > use 'circumambulate' when what you really mean is
> > 'walk around'.  Certainly do use your vocabulary if
> > you have it, but it should clarify not obscure.
> >
> > Just a few thoughts.
> >
> > Steve/bboyminn

> Laura:
> 
> Which leads into my question/observation:
> 
> In another newsgroup that I belong to, the book under
> discussion was HP and the Deathly Hallows. JKR's
> writing was described as "Grade B".  I had never
> understood why book people looked down on her
> writing so much, ...
> 

bboyminn:

One problem with 'literary' writing is the incessant
need for style over substance. 

As an example, in most high school English Composition
classes, you are usually given two grades. Your 
composition might come back looking like this  +C/-B. 
Meaning that from a technical literary and style aspect,
you did C+ work; from a storytelling aspect, you did
B- work.

Too many post-modern realists believe that a book
should be all style. They operate under the mistaken
belief that if you do everything 'technically' correct
then you writing something of significants. Of course,
any rational person, and certainly the buying public,
know that isn't true. We don't want perfect style;
we want a good captivating story. I'll take a good
story badly written over a bad story perfectly written
every time. Of course, ideally, I want a good story 
nicely written. 

As for technical style, JKR breaks many many rules.
For example, she uses asides and parenthetical 
expressions. She also uses 'all-caps' expressions.
Your high school English teacher will generally hold
these against you. However, I think JKR weaves them
skillfully into her story, and further believe that
they add to rather than subtract from the story.

Finally, the story itself. To me story, not style, 
is the God of good writing. JKR is a master story-
teller. She weaves a magical story spell that many
many many many many nights has keep me up reading
way past my bedtime and into the dawn.

So, after all this rambling, maybe Grade B is about
right from a technical perspective with regard to 
JKR's writing, but for me she is absolutely Grade
A++ in storytelling. 


> Laura:
>
> Finally, someone pointed out the "she said / he said +
> adverb" problem, something that I had NEVER noticed
> before, even though I have read all of the books multiple
> times and listened to them on audio in the American,
> British, and German versions.  ...

bboyminn:

The adverb thing I think refers, as others have said,
to JKR's tendency to say -

He said angrily...

Said Harry softly...

...Ron said shyly...

...Hermione said furiously...

In the earlier books, she maybe over does it a bit,
but most of the time I am so caught up in the story
and so interest in what is happening to the 
characters, that I don't notice it. Though I will 
concede she has improved in the later books. Still
adverbs are a valid literary device, and work
quite well if you mix it up a bit with other methods. 

For what it's worth.

Steve/bboyminn